Dating is not always easy and finding an interesting person to even consider dating is often challenging enough as it is. So when we do find someone interesting enough, we often hold on to them, with the hope that the connection will grow into something special.
The question you need to ask yourself however, is: How special is the connection between you and this “interesting” person?
As women, when we meet someone we really like, we often become infatuated quickly and without intention, create this illusion that leads us to disappointment and injured emotions that we do not deserve.
Have you met someone you feel drawn to romantically and want things to head to the next stage, but just cannot seem to get there? If so, welcome to a common situation many of us women find ourselves in. Is this new man in your life really worth your time and patience, or are you just in denial about how special the connection between you really is? It is important for you to be observant and pay attention to whether or not you are making excuses for him when he does not put in the effort you would like him to.
Making excuses for someone is something very common that people do, especially women. When we like a man enough, we convince ourselves that he is worth our time by making excuses for his lazy and inconsiderate behavior. Deep down however, you already know whether he is truly crazy about you too, or not.
Here are some signs of a man who truly does want you:
He calls you and gets in touch with you (phone, e-mail, etc) as often as he can.
Calls you when he says he will
Pays attention to what you like (example: types of movies, flowers, food, music, so on) and then invests efforts in making sure he can provide you with it. So for example, if he knows Italian is your favorite food, he will try to find a nice Italian restaurant to take you to, because he wants to impress you and make you happy.
He expresses his feelings to you and lets you know how much he likes you.
He does not mind doing most of the chasing
Now, here are some signs of a man who is not that interested in you:
He takes his time to get in touch with you and does not seem very excited to talk to you again.
Tells you he will call you, and then breaks that promise.
Leaves you wondering about how he really feels about you. Not being emotionally expressive enough.
Does not invest much effort in trying to impress you or set up nice dates.
He seems relaxed and not concerned with chasing you all that much- leaving a lot of room for you to look for him.
If you find yourself making excuses to any of the signs above that point to him not being very interested in you, you are not alone. You obviously like this man a lot and like him enough at this time to feel he worth making excuses for, but…are you really happy?
Sure, there are exceptions where we should give people the benefit of the doubt, but there is a difference between a mistake we can of course excuse and forgive and man who simply does not treat you well enough.
Yes, we are living in modern times where women play strong roles in the career and work field and are not afraid to take charge and be aggressive, including in the romance department. If we see a man we want, most of us are not old fashioned enough to just wait around. We are ready to take charge and flirt, e-mail and call- if it means starting up a relationship with a man we want. While this is great and we should feel strong and confident enough about ourselves to do this, we also should not forget how men are programmed by nature. Do not rob a man of the fun he has in chasing after a woman he really longs for. As fun as it may be for you to be the aggressive one, the truth is, if you spend too much time being aggressive and getting in touch with him all the time, you are not giving him or yourself the chance to really find out how much he wants you. Do not be afraid to lie back sometimes and see just how much effort he feels you are worth. If he really wants to get to know you and be with you romantically, then he will not miss his chance to call you, e-mail you, or make the time to take you out.
So be honest with yourself and do not make excuses, no matter how much you like him. After all, you want to be with someone who wants you just as bad and shows it- not someone you have to run after and wonder about.
One Important Note: Avoid the “Busy Excuse”
Do not make the busy excuse for him. Yes, people get busy, but if you are not too busy to think about him, then he is not too busy to think about you either. If you really are on his mind, he will make the time, if only a moment, to let you know he was thinking about (whether through a phone call, text message or e-mail.).
Sometimes a person can have a crazy day and this is okay, but if it happens too often, then it has nothing to do with him being busy- it has to do with him being lazy, and you are worth more than that!
Monday, March 12, 2012
Top 5 Relationship Pet Peeves
Top Pet Peeves that annoy the other partner Let’s face it- NO relationship is perfect. No matter how much you love each other and no matter how many things you have in common and agree on, there is always going to be something that one person will do to bother or annoy the other. This has nothing to do with love, but more based on the fact that when two individuals merge their lives together, there are bound to be times when they will clash. You may feel like “one”, but you are still separate people with minds of your own and not everything about your partner will appeal to you, regardless how much you love each other.
Here are the Top 5 most common Relationship Pet Peeves:
Nagging - okay, we all feel the need to complain every once in a while, but when complaining becomes the main theme of your verbal expression, it becomes defined as nagging, and no one likes a nag. Nagging, to most, is annoying and frustrating and makes the person being nagged to like they can’t do anything right and they eventually grow tired of it and either leave the relationship or block out the nagging and stop caring.
Lying - No one appreciates being lied to- especially when the lies are trivial, unnecessary and constant. It is very frustrating for a person to have to deal with a lover who constantly lies about every little thing. Not only is ot annoying, but makes one wonder if there are bigger lies that they are not even aware about, creating major trust issues in the relationship.
Drama Queen - We are all capable of having bratty moments and taking center stage, but there are some people who always need to be the center of attention and make a huge production out every little thing. This usually become very irritating over time and makes the other partner feel like he/she has to walk on eggshells, making the relationship very unfair.
Indecisiveness- Not being able to ever make a decision and sticking to it is very frustrating. A couple should be able to openly communicate and make decisions together. Both partners need to put their input on things and let the other know what they want, rather than never making a decision and leaving their partner to make all the decisions in a relationship.
Promise Breaking- Nothing is more irritating and hurtful than a person who makes promises and breaks them over and over again. It shows lack of consideration for the other’s feelings and also means the person cannot be trusted or relied on. Do not make promises you feel you may not be able to keep, because besides being annoying, it also ruins character.
Here are the Top 5 most common Relationship Pet Peeves:
Nagging - okay, we all feel the need to complain every once in a while, but when complaining becomes the main theme of your verbal expression, it becomes defined as nagging, and no one likes a nag. Nagging, to most, is annoying and frustrating and makes the person being nagged to like they can’t do anything right and they eventually grow tired of it and either leave the relationship or block out the nagging and stop caring.
Lying - No one appreciates being lied to- especially when the lies are trivial, unnecessary and constant. It is very frustrating for a person to have to deal with a lover who constantly lies about every little thing. Not only is ot annoying, but makes one wonder if there are bigger lies that they are not even aware about, creating major trust issues in the relationship.
Drama Queen - We are all capable of having bratty moments and taking center stage, but there are some people who always need to be the center of attention and make a huge production out every little thing. This usually become very irritating over time and makes the other partner feel like he/she has to walk on eggshells, making the relationship very unfair.
Indecisiveness- Not being able to ever make a decision and sticking to it is very frustrating. A couple should be able to openly communicate and make decisions together. Both partners need to put their input on things and let the other know what they want, rather than never making a decision and leaving their partner to make all the decisions in a relationship.
Promise Breaking- Nothing is more irritating and hurtful than a person who makes promises and breaks them over and over again. It shows lack of consideration for the other’s feelings and also means the person cannot be trusted or relied on. Do not make promises you feel you may not be able to keep, because besides being annoying, it also ruins character.
Love Pollution
Ways you can improve the health of your Love environment.
Just as we pollute our planet’s environment, we also pollute our relationships through our behavior and the methods we use to get what we want.
No relationship is perfect. Every relationship needs maintenance, as well as a clean up from time to time, so that it can stay healthy and on the right track. Not only that, but a relationship also requires a couple to find new ways of cleaning it up- since a relationship changes and grows in time- with new experiences and issues.
As much as we all want to keep our relationship happy at all times, it is just not a realistic desire. While you might have a lot in common with your partner, you two are still two individual human beings with your own personal goals, passions and desires that you wish to achieve in your lives. You and your partner may not always see eye to eye on everything and this causes conflicts. One or both of you may also get lazy in time, not investing as much effort as you used to when the relationship was young and fresh. Does this mean that your partner (or you) no longer cares? Probably not- but it does mean that you and your partner have settled in too deeply in the comfort zone of your relationship and need to get up and give your relationship a good work out, so that it can get back in shape.
The following are common ways we pollute our relationships with negativity, as well as suggestions on how you can cleans things up and improve your relationship’s health.
Polluter #1: Laziness
Laziness is never your friend. It holds you back and keeps you from accomplishing goals that will make you feel happy and fulfilled. Just as laziness hurts you in your academic and career field, it hurts you in your relationships as well. It is only natural that both you and your partner will become comfortable as your relationship matures. The more time you spend together, the less concerned you become with staying on your toes and impressing one another, because you trust that you both love each other. There is nothing wrong with being comfortable in a relationship. In fact, you should feel safe and comfortable with your partner. However, there is such thing as getting too comfortable in a relationship. If you hang out in the comfort zone most of the time, that means you are no longer trying to find ways to excite each other and bring new joys into the relationship. At one point, you two will drift apart and will become bored- leading one or both of you to perhaps look outside the relationship for excitement, and/or break up.
What you can do: If your relationship is already suffering from the pollution of laziness, then it is time for both you and your partner to get up and get active! Do things to let your partner know that you are still crazy about him/her, as well as let him/her know things you would like for them to do for you, or with you. Find new places to visit together, new hobbies to get active in- whatever you both feel you will enjoy in each other’s company. It does not have to be anything big or extravagant, as long as you both work together in keeping the relationship active.
Polluter #2: Arguments
It is not really the arguing that is the polluter here, but more the way you argue that is. Arguing is normal and is important, because it plays a big role in bringing you and your partner closer together. Arguing is reasoning people give one another when they are for or against something. Through arguing, you and your lover learn the differences that exist between you and can use this information to understand each other better and therefore respect each other more, as well as behave more considerately towards one another. Arguments can help a relationship become even stronger and healthier…when you do it in a positive manner. Unfortunately, we often handle arguments in a negative manner, because to most of us arguments equal negative and this point of view causes us to behave negatively in an argument. Before you know it, what is supposed to be a constructive and learning experience, ends up being a fight of him vs. her with the goal to win and be right, rather than working together in finding a compromise.
What you can do: First of all, it is important that you keep reminding yourself that arguments are not a bad thing. Keep reminding yourself this until you truly understand it, so that the next time you get involved in an argument with your partner, you will not have your defenses up ready to enter a fight. Instead enter an argument with an open mind and heart, ready to problem solve- rather than enter a fighting contest. Do not be afraid or shy to talk to your partner about arguing. Remember, open and honest communication is key and if you and your lover talk about this when you two are happy and not arguing, you will be able to set your goals about this open and clear mindedly. It is essential that you both remember that when arguments do come to surface, the point is to attack the problem and not the person. Getting angry and feeling hurt during arguments is okay, as long as you express your anger and hurt productively and not in a way to just hurt your part back.
Polluter #3: Denial
Denial is a huge relationship polluter. Many of us want to desperately believe that everything is fine or will work itself out in our relationship, causing us to blind ourselves from many truths. Every relationship will have problems and obstacles that are both painful and anger inducing, so while you can denial problems all you want- you are actually only making things worse for your relationship. Ignoring problems does not make them go away, but in fact makes them grow and grow until your relationship is hanging by its last thread. There are times when two people will grow apart and break up because of that, but often times; a relationship does not have to fall apart due to problems. Most relationship troubles can be worked out, but that requires the acceptance of these troubles from both partners involved.
What you can do: Be realistic and accept the fact that you and your partner can love each others and have problems at the same time. Understanding that having conflicts between you and your partner does mean you do not love each other anymore will help you avoid entering the denial zone. When a problem comes along, talk to your partner about it and do not avoid conversation when your partner approaches you about something. Brushing issues off will actually tear you two apart, because issues cannot work themselves out. If you really want to be with your partner, then you need to be a team member in your relationship at all times- the good and the bad. If do not want to lose your relationship and you want to make it last, then do not pretend everything is perfect. Love your relationship unconditionally by accepting it’s imperfections and teaming up with your lover in making improvements where they are needed (whether it is in the communication, trust, passion or commitment department) so your relationship can strengthen from both it’s positive and negative sides, rather than weaken due to denial on your or your partner’s part.
Just as we pollute our planet’s environment, we also pollute our relationships through our behavior and the methods we use to get what we want.
No relationship is perfect. Every relationship needs maintenance, as well as a clean up from time to time, so that it can stay healthy and on the right track. Not only that, but a relationship also requires a couple to find new ways of cleaning it up- since a relationship changes and grows in time- with new experiences and issues.
As much as we all want to keep our relationship happy at all times, it is just not a realistic desire. While you might have a lot in common with your partner, you two are still two individual human beings with your own personal goals, passions and desires that you wish to achieve in your lives. You and your partner may not always see eye to eye on everything and this causes conflicts. One or both of you may also get lazy in time, not investing as much effort as you used to when the relationship was young and fresh. Does this mean that your partner (or you) no longer cares? Probably not- but it does mean that you and your partner have settled in too deeply in the comfort zone of your relationship and need to get up and give your relationship a good work out, so that it can get back in shape.
The following are common ways we pollute our relationships with negativity, as well as suggestions on how you can cleans things up and improve your relationship’s health.
Polluter #1: Laziness
Laziness is never your friend. It holds you back and keeps you from accomplishing goals that will make you feel happy and fulfilled. Just as laziness hurts you in your academic and career field, it hurts you in your relationships as well. It is only natural that both you and your partner will become comfortable as your relationship matures. The more time you spend together, the less concerned you become with staying on your toes and impressing one another, because you trust that you both love each other. There is nothing wrong with being comfortable in a relationship. In fact, you should feel safe and comfortable with your partner. However, there is such thing as getting too comfortable in a relationship. If you hang out in the comfort zone most of the time, that means you are no longer trying to find ways to excite each other and bring new joys into the relationship. At one point, you two will drift apart and will become bored- leading one or both of you to perhaps look outside the relationship for excitement, and/or break up.
What you can do: If your relationship is already suffering from the pollution of laziness, then it is time for both you and your partner to get up and get active! Do things to let your partner know that you are still crazy about him/her, as well as let him/her know things you would like for them to do for you, or with you. Find new places to visit together, new hobbies to get active in- whatever you both feel you will enjoy in each other’s company. It does not have to be anything big or extravagant, as long as you both work together in keeping the relationship active.
Polluter #2: Arguments
It is not really the arguing that is the polluter here, but more the way you argue that is. Arguing is normal and is important, because it plays a big role in bringing you and your partner closer together. Arguing is reasoning people give one another when they are for or against something. Through arguing, you and your lover learn the differences that exist between you and can use this information to understand each other better and therefore respect each other more, as well as behave more considerately towards one another. Arguments can help a relationship become even stronger and healthier…when you do it in a positive manner. Unfortunately, we often handle arguments in a negative manner, because to most of us arguments equal negative and this point of view causes us to behave negatively in an argument. Before you know it, what is supposed to be a constructive and learning experience, ends up being a fight of him vs. her with the goal to win and be right, rather than working together in finding a compromise.
What you can do: First of all, it is important that you keep reminding yourself that arguments are not a bad thing. Keep reminding yourself this until you truly understand it, so that the next time you get involved in an argument with your partner, you will not have your defenses up ready to enter a fight. Instead enter an argument with an open mind and heart, ready to problem solve- rather than enter a fighting contest. Do not be afraid or shy to talk to your partner about arguing. Remember, open and honest communication is key and if you and your lover talk about this when you two are happy and not arguing, you will be able to set your goals about this open and clear mindedly. It is essential that you both remember that when arguments do come to surface, the point is to attack the problem and not the person. Getting angry and feeling hurt during arguments is okay, as long as you express your anger and hurt productively and not in a way to just hurt your part back.
Polluter #3: Denial
Denial is a huge relationship polluter. Many of us want to desperately believe that everything is fine or will work itself out in our relationship, causing us to blind ourselves from many truths. Every relationship will have problems and obstacles that are both painful and anger inducing, so while you can denial problems all you want- you are actually only making things worse for your relationship. Ignoring problems does not make them go away, but in fact makes them grow and grow until your relationship is hanging by its last thread. There are times when two people will grow apart and break up because of that, but often times; a relationship does not have to fall apart due to problems. Most relationship troubles can be worked out, but that requires the acceptance of these troubles from both partners involved.
What you can do: Be realistic and accept the fact that you and your partner can love each others and have problems at the same time. Understanding that having conflicts between you and your partner does mean you do not love each other anymore will help you avoid entering the denial zone. When a problem comes along, talk to your partner about it and do not avoid conversation when your partner approaches you about something. Brushing issues off will actually tear you two apart, because issues cannot work themselves out. If you really want to be with your partner, then you need to be a team member in your relationship at all times- the good and the bad. If do not want to lose your relationship and you want to make it last, then do not pretend everything is perfect. Love your relationship unconditionally by accepting it’s imperfections and teaming up with your lover in making improvements where they are needed (whether it is in the communication, trust, passion or commitment department) so your relationship can strengthen from both it’s positive and negative sides, rather than weaken due to denial on your or your partner’s part.
Finding a Fulfilling Happy Relationship
Finding someone to be in a relationship is actually quite easy. Finding someone to be in a relationship that actually fulfills you, however, is a different story. So how do you find a relationship that truly fulfills your needs and desires? Setting your priorities straight and having realistic expectations will help guide you into the right direction in finding the relationship you have always wanted. Before you can do that though, you need to make sure that you feel fulfilled on your own first.
So many people end up in relationships that do not fulfill them because they are entering the relationship with the wrong expectations and for the wrong reasons. A big example of this is someone entering a relationship as a way to feel complete. Many people feel unsatisfied with themselves and their lives, and believe that someone else will be able to fill in that gap for them. Placing the responsibility for your happiness on someone else is unrealistic and will only result in disappointments in the relationship. You also need to acknowledge and accept the fact that there is no such thing as the perfect relationship and that there will be issues that will require teamwork and compromise.
Most people have the idea that if a relationship is truly happy and meant to be, then there never will be any problems and should not require so much work- it should just be happy. Well, if this is how you view relationships, then it is time to change your way of thinking before you set yourself up for more painful reality checks. If you are interested in finding a person to build a strong romantic relationship with, the best thing to do would be to start by focusing on yourself first- and make sure that you are have your life sorted out, before deciding to share it with someone else. Majority of people would read this say of course, it's common sense and while this may true, people still enter relationship with unrealistic expectation, wrong reasons or before making sure they are fulfilled on their own first.
So if you feel you are ready to be in a serious, committed relationship, do your self a favor and take it one step at a time. Review the relationship you have with yourself first and make sure that you are truly happy with you are and where you stand currently in your life. Ask yourself why you feel the need to be in a relationship, what you are prepared to invest into it, as well as what you are expecting from your partner. Sorting this out will help you understand your relationship goals and will help you understand what it is you need to look for in a person when trying to find a romantic partner to share your life with.
Attraction is naturally going to be important to you, and it should be- for no relationship can really start or survive unless both partners are genuinely attracted to each other. Attraction, however, is not enough and before you decide to jump into a relationship with a person you are strongly attracted to, you are going to make sure that he or she also has the other important qualities that you are looking for in a partner. This is why you need to take it slowly and not rush into anything, just because you feel strongly attracted to someone.
There are many cases where people jump into a relationship based mainly on attraction, with an assumption (or hope) that the person will end up having all the qualities. When time passes and the person realizes that their partner is not who they thought or hoped they were, they are already deeply involved and often look at their partners as who they wished they were, rather than who they really are- and end up stuck in an unfulfilling relationship. So the key to finding a fulfilling relationship is to never lose direction and to always remind yourself of what your real needs are, so that you do not end up in a relationship that does not meet your standards. There is a difference between compromises certain differences, and settling for a less-than-satisfying relationship. You also need to decide exactly what you are prepared to offer another person, so that you do not end up an overwhelming relationship that you were not ready for. Once you understand your real needs and the qualities you are seeking and understand your reasons for wanting to be in a relationship, you will know exactly what to look for and will not get trapped dating anyone who does not fulfill you.
So many people end up in relationships that do not fulfill them because they are entering the relationship with the wrong expectations and for the wrong reasons. A big example of this is someone entering a relationship as a way to feel complete. Many people feel unsatisfied with themselves and their lives, and believe that someone else will be able to fill in that gap for them. Placing the responsibility for your happiness on someone else is unrealistic and will only result in disappointments in the relationship. You also need to acknowledge and accept the fact that there is no such thing as the perfect relationship and that there will be issues that will require teamwork and compromise.
Most people have the idea that if a relationship is truly happy and meant to be, then there never will be any problems and should not require so much work- it should just be happy. Well, if this is how you view relationships, then it is time to change your way of thinking before you set yourself up for more painful reality checks. If you are interested in finding a person to build a strong romantic relationship with, the best thing to do would be to start by focusing on yourself first- and make sure that you are have your life sorted out, before deciding to share it with someone else. Majority of people would read this say of course, it's common sense and while this may true, people still enter relationship with unrealistic expectation, wrong reasons or before making sure they are fulfilled on their own first.
So if you feel you are ready to be in a serious, committed relationship, do your self a favor and take it one step at a time. Review the relationship you have with yourself first and make sure that you are truly happy with you are and where you stand currently in your life. Ask yourself why you feel the need to be in a relationship, what you are prepared to invest into it, as well as what you are expecting from your partner. Sorting this out will help you understand your relationship goals and will help you understand what it is you need to look for in a person when trying to find a romantic partner to share your life with.
Attraction is naturally going to be important to you, and it should be- for no relationship can really start or survive unless both partners are genuinely attracted to each other. Attraction, however, is not enough and before you decide to jump into a relationship with a person you are strongly attracted to, you are going to make sure that he or she also has the other important qualities that you are looking for in a partner. This is why you need to take it slowly and not rush into anything, just because you feel strongly attracted to someone.
There are many cases where people jump into a relationship based mainly on attraction, with an assumption (or hope) that the person will end up having all the qualities. When time passes and the person realizes that their partner is not who they thought or hoped they were, they are already deeply involved and often look at their partners as who they wished they were, rather than who they really are- and end up stuck in an unfulfilling relationship. So the key to finding a fulfilling relationship is to never lose direction and to always remind yourself of what your real needs are, so that you do not end up in a relationship that does not meet your standards. There is a difference between compromises certain differences, and settling for a less-than-satisfying relationship. You also need to decide exactly what you are prepared to offer another person, so that you do not end up an overwhelming relationship that you were not ready for. Once you understand your real needs and the qualities you are seeking and understand your reasons for wanting to be in a relationship, you will know exactly what to look for and will not get trapped dating anyone who does not fulfill you.
How to read the signs of a lying partner
Are you being lied to?
First thing's first . . .listen to your instincts!
Knowing whether you are being lied to or not, does not require mind reading or psychic power. Understanding the difference between the truth and a lie can all be determined by a person's behavior, and if you pay attention to these behaviors, you will be able to have a better idea of whether you are being lied to or not. The most important thing you should always remember to do however is to trust your instincts. If you feel you are not getting the entire truth from your partner for some reason, then listen to your instincts. Most people are in good touch with their instincts, but rather not listen to that inner voice because they refuse to believe that their partner would deceive them in any way. Staying in touch with your instincts will help guide you in the right direction.
Though instincts are a great help, they can be tricky. Majority of the times, your instincts will not lie to you, but there are times when your instincts can be influenced by your fears and insecurities. For example, you may already have fears of being cheated on, therefore you may feel that your partner is lying to you and cheating on you, when in fact he or she may be telling you the truth and completely faithful to you. This is why it is essential to understand the behavior of a liar, so that you can define the difference between really catching on to a liar, or just being paranoid that your partner is lying to.
Watch the Body Language
One important thing to remember is that the body never lies. If there are changes in the way your partner moves (or does not movie) his/her arms, hands, head and the way his/her eyes shift, then you are most likely being lied to. The reason the body language changes when a person is lying is because the person now has to think of a way to seem convincing that he/she is telling the truth. Since he/she knows that whatever they are telling you is a lie, the behavior automatically changes because they are now trying to act truthful, instead of actually being truthful. One big sign to look out for is in the eyes. If your partner avoids eye contact with you, then he/she is lying to you. There is a fear that you will see through him or her if there is eye contact, so eye contact will be avoided. Whether you realize it or not, your body also communicates when you talk. When you are enthusiastic about telling your partner something and are telling the truth, you will move your hands around and will look into his/her eyes to make a connection. If your partner is lying however, he or she will tense up, will most likely tone down on the hand movement and eye connection and will seem different than other times. If your partner is the type to still move his/her hands around even when he/she is lying, then pay attention to the timing of the movements. Timing is everything and can define the difference between the truth and a lie. When a person is telling the truth for example, his/her hands (and whatever body movement he/she does) will move at the same time when telling you something. When he/she is lying however, the body language will be off and will usually come shortly after he/she has told you the lie. This is because they have to think about acting natural, and this thinking causes them to be off key.
Last but not Least: Clearing of the throat, touching him or herself often and saying “Umm”
Another sign of a lying partner is if he/she touch his/her nose or face a lot while talking to you. They will feel nervous about telling you lies and will want to occupy their hands somehow as a way to cover up their lie, such as touching the nose, rubbing their eyes and so on. Your partner may even clear his or her throat more than usual when talking to you, look away a lot and/or say "umm" a lot when lying to you. They are using these as time killers so they can think of how to tell you the lie in the most convincing way possible. These are just some of the signs of a lying partner and are the most common signs. Remember, it is always important to trust your instincts first.
First thing's first . . .listen to your instincts!
Knowing whether you are being lied to or not, does not require mind reading or psychic power. Understanding the difference between the truth and a lie can all be determined by a person's behavior, and if you pay attention to these behaviors, you will be able to have a better idea of whether you are being lied to or not. The most important thing you should always remember to do however is to trust your instincts. If you feel you are not getting the entire truth from your partner for some reason, then listen to your instincts. Most people are in good touch with their instincts, but rather not listen to that inner voice because they refuse to believe that their partner would deceive them in any way. Staying in touch with your instincts will help guide you in the right direction.
Though instincts are a great help, they can be tricky. Majority of the times, your instincts will not lie to you, but there are times when your instincts can be influenced by your fears and insecurities. For example, you may already have fears of being cheated on, therefore you may feel that your partner is lying to you and cheating on you, when in fact he or she may be telling you the truth and completely faithful to you. This is why it is essential to understand the behavior of a liar, so that you can define the difference between really catching on to a liar, or just being paranoid that your partner is lying to.
Watch the Body Language
One important thing to remember is that the body never lies. If there are changes in the way your partner moves (or does not movie) his/her arms, hands, head and the way his/her eyes shift, then you are most likely being lied to. The reason the body language changes when a person is lying is because the person now has to think of a way to seem convincing that he/she is telling the truth. Since he/she knows that whatever they are telling you is a lie, the behavior automatically changes because they are now trying to act truthful, instead of actually being truthful. One big sign to look out for is in the eyes. If your partner avoids eye contact with you, then he/she is lying to you. There is a fear that you will see through him or her if there is eye contact, so eye contact will be avoided. Whether you realize it or not, your body also communicates when you talk. When you are enthusiastic about telling your partner something and are telling the truth, you will move your hands around and will look into his/her eyes to make a connection. If your partner is lying however, he or she will tense up, will most likely tone down on the hand movement and eye connection and will seem different than other times. If your partner is the type to still move his/her hands around even when he/she is lying, then pay attention to the timing of the movements. Timing is everything and can define the difference between the truth and a lie. When a person is telling the truth for example, his/her hands (and whatever body movement he/she does) will move at the same time when telling you something. When he/she is lying however, the body language will be off and will usually come shortly after he/she has told you the lie. This is because they have to think about acting natural, and this thinking causes them to be off key.
Last but not Least: Clearing of the throat, touching him or herself often and saying “Umm”
Another sign of a lying partner is if he/she touch his/her nose or face a lot while talking to you. They will feel nervous about telling you lies and will want to occupy their hands somehow as a way to cover up their lie, such as touching the nose, rubbing their eyes and so on. Your partner may even clear his or her throat more than usual when talking to you, look away a lot and/or say "umm" a lot when lying to you. They are using these as time killers so they can think of how to tell you the lie in the most convincing way possible. These are just some of the signs of a lying partner and are the most common signs. Remember, it is always important to trust your instincts first.
Goal Setting your Relationship
How do you set your priorities within a relationship?
When you think about it relationships are all about goal setting. Once you have past that first stage of dating and falling in love you both start focusing on the goals you each have for the relationship, such as where you want it to lead and what your relationships beliefs are. One of the main reasons many couples break up is because they never shared their relationship goals with each other. Most people just let the relationship do it's own work and flow naturally, and while that is okay in some cases, it is overall important to keep in touch with what each of you is planning for the relationship
Besides the fact that you were attracted to each other and shared common interests and fell in love, what really are your goals for the relationship? Though you can never predict what will really happen in the future of the relationship, you do already have an idea of what you wish to give and receive from this romantic partnership. It is important that you fully understand what your goals are first before having this talk with your partner. Are you looking for a serious partner or just someone you can spend time with so you are not lonely? Would you like the relationship to eventually lead to marriage or is marriage not the most important goal for you at this time? When you figure out exactly what your goals are in the relationship you will then need to learn why those goals are so important for you right now. For example, if marriage is a goal for you- why is getting married so important to you at this pint in your life? You need to understand your reasons for your goals and make sure you are setting those goals for the right reasons.
Once you have figured out your goals you should then share them with your partner and then listen to what his or her goals are as well so that you both can see exactly where you both stand individually and as a couple. If there are differences in the goals you both have, you then need find a compromise you both feel is fair to the relationship. Not having the same exact relationship goals does not mean that you are meant to be together, but it does mean that more communication is necessary so you can always keep track of where your relationship is leading and if it is lacking anything that it needs. Plan ways on how you can both accomplish each of your relationship goals and talk about which methods you both feel will work best. Goals can change over time too, which is exactly why you and your partner should touch base on each of your thoughts so you never reach a point where the relationship feels lost and confusing for one or both of you.
Though it is important to understand your partner's goals, it is more important to keep in touch what you really want and need from the relationship. Losing your direction can cause you to stay in a relationship even if it no longer fulfills your needs and desires. Partner's can change and there is nothing you can do to change him or her unless they choose to, so the power you do have in holding on to the dreams you have for yourself and never lower your expectations in a relationship just because you want to stay with your partner. Neither of you should have to lower your expectation for the other; you should always work together in keeping the relationship on track. With direct communication and good goal setting, your relationship can continuously lead to stronger and more fulfilling stages that please you both.
When you think about it relationships are all about goal setting. Once you have past that first stage of dating and falling in love you both start focusing on the goals you each have for the relationship, such as where you want it to lead and what your relationships beliefs are. One of the main reasons many couples break up is because they never shared their relationship goals with each other. Most people just let the relationship do it's own work and flow naturally, and while that is okay in some cases, it is overall important to keep in touch with what each of you is planning for the relationship
Besides the fact that you were attracted to each other and shared common interests and fell in love, what really are your goals for the relationship? Though you can never predict what will really happen in the future of the relationship, you do already have an idea of what you wish to give and receive from this romantic partnership. It is important that you fully understand what your goals are first before having this talk with your partner. Are you looking for a serious partner or just someone you can spend time with so you are not lonely? Would you like the relationship to eventually lead to marriage or is marriage not the most important goal for you at this time? When you figure out exactly what your goals are in the relationship you will then need to learn why those goals are so important for you right now. For example, if marriage is a goal for you- why is getting married so important to you at this pint in your life? You need to understand your reasons for your goals and make sure you are setting those goals for the right reasons.
Once you have figured out your goals you should then share them with your partner and then listen to what his or her goals are as well so that you both can see exactly where you both stand individually and as a couple. If there are differences in the goals you both have, you then need find a compromise you both feel is fair to the relationship. Not having the same exact relationship goals does not mean that you are meant to be together, but it does mean that more communication is necessary so you can always keep track of where your relationship is leading and if it is lacking anything that it needs. Plan ways on how you can both accomplish each of your relationship goals and talk about which methods you both feel will work best. Goals can change over time too, which is exactly why you and your partner should touch base on each of your thoughts so you never reach a point where the relationship feels lost and confusing for one or both of you.
Though it is important to understand your partner's goals, it is more important to keep in touch what you really want and need from the relationship. Losing your direction can cause you to stay in a relationship even if it no longer fulfills your needs and desires. Partner's can change and there is nothing you can do to change him or her unless they choose to, so the power you do have in holding on to the dreams you have for yourself and never lower your expectations in a relationship just because you want to stay with your partner. Neither of you should have to lower your expectation for the other; you should always work together in keeping the relationship on track. With direct communication and good goal setting, your relationship can continuously lead to stronger and more fulfilling stages that please you both.
Taking a break help your Relationship
There are times when a relationship reaches a point where one or both partners feel the need for some space and want a break from each other, believing that a break will do the relationship good. Can taking time apart from each other help your relationship or is taking a break simply a way to avoid certain issues that will still be there waiting for you when you get back together?
First Tip: Do not use Breaks as a quick fix.
Every relationship varies and it is important that every couple understands that taking time apart is not a substitute for fixing or solving problems, because if you part when you are having problems, they will be waiting for you when you meet again- so it is essential that you talk about your issues first before you decide a break is needed and best for the relationship. Many get scared and paranoid when their partner asks for some time alone because they fear that their partner may not love them anymore or will not come back. Though it is always possible for your partner to change their mind during the break and decide not to continue with the relationship, there is no need to fear taking the break, because the two of you would eventually have broken up anyway, if your partner was already thinking of doing so before- so it is inevitable.
A Break can help you re-discover your Individual self.
Many times, one or both people in a relationship will lose themselves in some way or form and will begin to feel stress and resentment in the relationship, even though it may not be about their partner personally. In every relationship, couples will compromise their differences to keep things healthy and happy and in making these compromising and changes, you both have to let go of a part of yourselves in order to compromise your differences. Sometimes this happens so often, that one or both of you will feel like you have completely lost yourselves and will feel stressed and resentment towards each other, even though it has nothing to do with any of you in particular. Relationships can get so deep- and you both can connect as ' one ' so intensely that you neglect yourselves as individuals, and in order to re-discover yourselves, there will need to be some time apart from each other. Remember, you need to be whole as an individual first in order to be whole together as a couple, and time apart is best if one or both of you feel like you need to get back in touch with your individuality.
Slow down the Pace to learn more about each other.
Some couples get so excited when they enter a relationship, that everything moves so fast, which can get stressful, pressuring and scary, in which a break is then a good idea as well. Taking time apart can help a relationship build a better bond because you will both replenish yourselves during the break and will then be able to give the relationship the efforts and attention needed to keep it healthy. If you are afraid that you will lose the relationship if you take a break, just remember that you would have broken up later anyway- not because of the break, but because you grew apart, had irreparable issues or maybe your partner (or you) just wanted to move on. So do not fear what is not in your control. Just stay calm and see what good a break can do for both of you and your relationship. Besides, you both owe it to yourselves to get back in touch with your individualities and learn more new things about yourself, so that you will be able to teach your partner more about you- and the more you know about each other, the more you will understand your differences and will be able to build the connection that works best for the both of you.
First Tip: Do not use Breaks as a quick fix.
Every relationship varies and it is important that every couple understands that taking time apart is not a substitute for fixing or solving problems, because if you part when you are having problems, they will be waiting for you when you meet again- so it is essential that you talk about your issues first before you decide a break is needed and best for the relationship. Many get scared and paranoid when their partner asks for some time alone because they fear that their partner may not love them anymore or will not come back. Though it is always possible for your partner to change their mind during the break and decide not to continue with the relationship, there is no need to fear taking the break, because the two of you would eventually have broken up anyway, if your partner was already thinking of doing so before- so it is inevitable.
A Break can help you re-discover your Individual self.
Many times, one or both people in a relationship will lose themselves in some way or form and will begin to feel stress and resentment in the relationship, even though it may not be about their partner personally. In every relationship, couples will compromise their differences to keep things healthy and happy and in making these compromising and changes, you both have to let go of a part of yourselves in order to compromise your differences. Sometimes this happens so often, that one or both of you will feel like you have completely lost yourselves and will feel stressed and resentment towards each other, even though it has nothing to do with any of you in particular. Relationships can get so deep- and you both can connect as ' one ' so intensely that you neglect yourselves as individuals, and in order to re-discover yourselves, there will need to be some time apart from each other. Remember, you need to be whole as an individual first in order to be whole together as a couple, and time apart is best if one or both of you feel like you need to get back in touch with your individuality.
Slow down the Pace to learn more about each other.
Some couples get so excited when they enter a relationship, that everything moves so fast, which can get stressful, pressuring and scary, in which a break is then a good idea as well. Taking time apart can help a relationship build a better bond because you will both replenish yourselves during the break and will then be able to give the relationship the efforts and attention needed to keep it healthy. If you are afraid that you will lose the relationship if you take a break, just remember that you would have broken up later anyway- not because of the break, but because you grew apart, had irreparable issues or maybe your partner (or you) just wanted to move on. So do not fear what is not in your control. Just stay calm and see what good a break can do for both of you and your relationship. Besides, you both owe it to yourselves to get back in touch with your individualities and learn more new things about yourself, so that you will be able to teach your partner more about you- and the more you know about each other, the more you will understand your differences and will be able to build the connection that works best for the both of you.
Communication that really improves Relationships
Communication is something we all know is necessary to keep any relationship strong and loving, and although we are aware of the importance of communication, we still seem to be clueless about what exactly good communication really is. This does not mean you are clueless as a person, but it does mean that more attention is required on your part, so that you can become more open and invite the many forms of communication that exist, so that you will be able to understand yourself and your partner much better. There is nothing that keeps a relationship healthy, better than understanding and once you start becoming more familiar with your communicating styles, as well as your partners, you will be able to work better as a team in making the best of your relationship.
The first step in achieving better communication that will really work, is to take a look at you first. People always tend to turn to their partner first when things are not running so smoothly in their relationship. They automatically start pointing out what their partner is doing or not doing, as well as how their partner is not listening to them. This may all be true depending on your particular situation, but it is important that you take the responsibility in reviewing your own actions and communication first, before you can point anything out in your partner. Remember, it is very easy to see other people's mistakes, but when it comes to looking at you, it is much harder to accept criticism, even from yourself- because no one wants to be wrong. This is where you need to get real about things. Communication is not about who is right or wrong, but instead about helping each other see things from each other's perspective, so that you can be on the page and avoid any misunderstanding that will cause unneeded arguments.
Get winning out of your mind. So many couples claim to have tried communication, but it does not seem to work. If this is your case, then the best thing would be to slow down, calm down and take a few steps back. Perhaps communication is not working for your relationship, but what method of communication are you using? You see, communication itself cannot be the problem or the ineffective ingredient, because communication is the main key to a healthy relationship, so it must be the way you and your partner are communicating. When you or your partner talks to each other, do one or both of you talk to win the conversation, or to actually reach a level of understanding of each other's needs and wants? Believe it or not, it is very common for people to focus on being right and trying to convince their partner of seeing things their way, instead of just sharing what they think and feel so their partner can understand what they mean and what they need.
Listening is so important if you truly wish to accomplish good communication that will improve your relationship. Are you really listening to what your partner is saying to you, or are you waiting to get things off you chest and make your points? Listening may sound like an easy enough thing to do, but many confuse it with hearing. Hearing what your partner is saying versus listening to them, are indeed very different. Listening involves true dedication and your full attention to the words your partner is serving to you, as well as the tones and expressions that go along with those words. Listening means that you are interested in learning more about what your partner is making an effort to tell you and making the emotional connection needed in order to achieve your relationship goals together. Keep in mind that when in a relationship, all communication between partners has to be open, honest, non-judgmental and patient, if you are to succeed and maintaining a happy and healthy relationship
Communication is not so complicated, once you understand what the right way communicating is, and of course- what methods of communication works for you and your communication best. Effective communication cannot happen on it's own or with the efforts of only one person. Both you and your partner have to be open and willing to work as a team on improving the way you communicate, so that you both can enhance your relationship skills and build a relationship where you both will have an understanding of who you are as individuals and what you both need and want. Just remember to stay real with yourself and avoid painting a foggy and falsified picture- so that you will never be caught off guard with nay-painful surprises or stressful misunderstandings.
The first step in achieving better communication that will really work, is to take a look at you first. People always tend to turn to their partner first when things are not running so smoothly in their relationship. They automatically start pointing out what their partner is doing or not doing, as well as how their partner is not listening to them. This may all be true depending on your particular situation, but it is important that you take the responsibility in reviewing your own actions and communication first, before you can point anything out in your partner. Remember, it is very easy to see other people's mistakes, but when it comes to looking at you, it is much harder to accept criticism, even from yourself- because no one wants to be wrong. This is where you need to get real about things. Communication is not about who is right or wrong, but instead about helping each other see things from each other's perspective, so that you can be on the page and avoid any misunderstanding that will cause unneeded arguments.
Get winning out of your mind. So many couples claim to have tried communication, but it does not seem to work. If this is your case, then the best thing would be to slow down, calm down and take a few steps back. Perhaps communication is not working for your relationship, but what method of communication are you using? You see, communication itself cannot be the problem or the ineffective ingredient, because communication is the main key to a healthy relationship, so it must be the way you and your partner are communicating. When you or your partner talks to each other, do one or both of you talk to win the conversation, or to actually reach a level of understanding of each other's needs and wants? Believe it or not, it is very common for people to focus on being right and trying to convince their partner of seeing things their way, instead of just sharing what they think and feel so their partner can understand what they mean and what they need.
Listening is so important if you truly wish to accomplish good communication that will improve your relationship. Are you really listening to what your partner is saying to you, or are you waiting to get things off you chest and make your points? Listening may sound like an easy enough thing to do, but many confuse it with hearing. Hearing what your partner is saying versus listening to them, are indeed very different. Listening involves true dedication and your full attention to the words your partner is serving to you, as well as the tones and expressions that go along with those words. Listening means that you are interested in learning more about what your partner is making an effort to tell you and making the emotional connection needed in order to achieve your relationship goals together. Keep in mind that when in a relationship, all communication between partners has to be open, honest, non-judgmental and patient, if you are to succeed and maintaining a happy and healthy relationship
Communication is not so complicated, once you understand what the right way communicating is, and of course- what methods of communication works for you and your communication best. Effective communication cannot happen on it's own or with the efforts of only one person. Both you and your partner have to be open and willing to work as a team on improving the way you communicate, so that you both can enhance your relationship skills and build a relationship where you both will have an understanding of who you are as individuals and what you both need and want. Just remember to stay real with yourself and avoid painting a foggy and falsified picture- so that you will never be caught off guard with nay-painful surprises or stressful misunderstandings.
Changing the way you look at Yourself
Day by day, the majority of us have a painful war with ourselves. It is a constant fight that includes constant criticism, pressure, anger, sadness and endless cruel comparisons. It is an everyday struggle that gets in the way and keeps you from seeing yourself for who you really are and achieving your true purposes in life. Where did this war begin and why?
The answer to that question can be answered in a well-known and very often used word: Self-Esteem. What exactly does self-esteem mean? Self-Esteem is the way you look at and feel about yourself. The word "esteem" itself, means to value something or someone, thinking and believing that that something or someone is of great importance. If you are always fighting with yourself and feeding yourself thoughts that make you feel less valuable or not as important or attractive as other people, then you are suffering from Low Self-Esteem. Unfortunately, most people suffer from this, but the good news is, you can kick low self-esteem out of your life, inviting and living a high self-esteem instead.
Living a life of great confidence can be challenging, but can be done. You might have even tried giving your self-esteem a boost, but were later disappointed to see that it did not quite work out the way you imagined. If this is true, do not run away just yet! This behavior is very common. Like every other person, you have probably adapted and grown to believe that feeling insecure and feeling that you are not good enough is normal and impossible to beat; therefore you just accept it and set an subconscious rule that you need to and deserve to feel badly and poorly when you look at yourself. This is where you need to take a few steps back. The thing about low self-esteem is, that is cannot be cured in one day, or even soon for that matter. The first thing you need to stop doing is giving yourself and everything around you unrealistic deadlines.
Accomplishing high self-esteem will not happen in an instant. It requires hard work and constant reassurance. When working on achieving high self-esteem, know that it can never and will never be achieved as long as you keep negative ingredients involved, such as giving up. This is one of the biggest reasons you look at yourself in such a valueless manner. Yes, it will be hard to get rid of, especially because "giving up" is partnered with another negative ingredient named "laziness". The truth is, you do wish to change the way you look at and feel about yourself, but you have grown to become too lazy to do anything about it. Why? For the factual reason that you find it easier to stay in the place and position that you are already in. It does not matter if it is an extremely negative position or place. What does matter and needs to be realized is that you have chosen to stay in negativity for so long, that you have become so comfortable with the fact that you do not like yourself. You may not have noticed, as most of the other low self-esteemed don't, that you now crave and need to feel sorry for yourself and subconsciously enjoy victimizing yourself and grabbing negative attention from others. This is exactly why terminating low self-esteem is difficult. You handed over all of your power and strength to it, allowing it to dictate your being and the way you handle life.
Once you have realized and accepted these facts, you can begin your boosting process. Begin by becoming a best friend to yourself instead of an enemy. With this best friend, you, stand up for yourself and face that low self-esteem in the face, along with all the fears that come with it. Look in the mirror and tell yourself that you do not feel sorry for yourself anymore and that you have the power and strength to feel and be happy, confident and successful, and you will do it because you are valuable and deserve it, just as anyone else would. Reassuring yourself is a big key to staying focused and improving the way you feel about yourself and the life you live. So do not be afraid to face yourself, and every time you do look at yourself and observe the things that go on around you, take notes of the positive things and the things you do like and admire about yourself.
Another essential thing you must stop doing is comparing yourself to others. You are you and not anyone else, and never will be anyone else. People are different and are created with different packages and talents. You are different and unique and hold talents and qualities that no one else has and will never have, and that is something to take pride in and love about you. Concentrate on learning and knowing that you are special, loveable, capable and very much acceptable. It all begins with accepting yourself, and you are the most important person to receive acceptance from. Once you have received official approval and acceptance from yourself, everything and everyone else around you will do the same and follow.
Living a life of great confidence can be challenging, but can be done. You might have even tried giving your self-esteem a boost, but were later disappointed to see that it did not quite work out the way you imagined. If this is true, do not run away just yet! This behavior is very common. Like every other person, you have probably adapted and grown to believe that feeling insecure and feeling that you are not good enough is normal and impossible to beat; therefore you just accept it and set an subconscious rule that you need to and deserve to feel badly and poorly when you look at yourself. This is where you need to take a few steps back. The thing about low self-esteem is, that is cannot be cured in one day, or even soon for that matter. The first thing you need to stop doing is giving yourself and everything around you unrealistic deadlines.
When you do come to times where you are not satisfied with the way you look or the things you have done, shift your mind and soul over to a positive side, pointing out the things you are happy with and feel great about, and always reward yourself for it. Treat yourself to something special that you will enjoy and feel fabulous about, and remind yourself that tomorrow is another day, which comes with brand new opportunities and more chances. Lastly, make your presence appear only around other positive people and other positive energies. Maintaining a healthy and high self-esteem will be successful if you continue to motivate and encourage it. So get up, stop feeling sorry for yourself and start changing the way you feel about and look at yourself. You deserve to happy and confident, because you are a fantastic and very special individual. You can do it�and you know you can!
The answer to that question can be answered in a well-known and very often used word: Self-Esteem. What exactly does self-esteem mean? Self-Esteem is the way you look at and feel about yourself. The word "esteem" itself, means to value something or someone, thinking and believing that that something or someone is of great importance. If you are always fighting with yourself and feeding yourself thoughts that make you feel less valuable or not as important or attractive as other people, then you are suffering from Low Self-Esteem. Unfortunately, most people suffer from this, but the good news is, you can kick low self-esteem out of your life, inviting and living a high self-esteem instead.
Living a life of great confidence can be challenging, but can be done. You might have even tried giving your self-esteem a boost, but were later disappointed to see that it did not quite work out the way you imagined. If this is true, do not run away just yet! This behavior is very common. Like every other person, you have probably adapted and grown to believe that feeling insecure and feeling that you are not good enough is normal and impossible to beat; therefore you just accept it and set an subconscious rule that you need to and deserve to feel badly and poorly when you look at yourself. This is where you need to take a few steps back. The thing about low self-esteem is, that is cannot be cured in one day, or even soon for that matter. The first thing you need to stop doing is giving yourself and everything around you unrealistic deadlines.
Accomplishing high self-esteem will not happen in an instant. It requires hard work and constant reassurance. When working on achieving high self-esteem, know that it can never and will never be achieved as long as you keep negative ingredients involved, such as giving up. This is one of the biggest reasons you look at yourself in such a valueless manner. Yes, it will be hard to get rid of, especially because "giving up" is partnered with another negative ingredient named "laziness". The truth is, you do wish to change the way you look at and feel about yourself, but you have grown to become too lazy to do anything about it. Why? For the factual reason that you find it easier to stay in the place and position that you are already in. It does not matter if it is an extremely negative position or place. What does matter and needs to be realized is that you have chosen to stay in negativity for so long, that you have become so comfortable with the fact that you do not like yourself. You may not have noticed, as most of the other low self-esteemed don't, that you now crave and need to feel sorry for yourself and subconsciously enjoy victimizing yourself and grabbing negative attention from others. This is exactly why terminating low self-esteem is difficult. You handed over all of your power and strength to it, allowing it to dictate your being and the way you handle life.
Once you have realized and accepted these facts, you can begin your boosting process. Begin by becoming a best friend to yourself instead of an enemy. With this best friend, you, stand up for yourself and face that low self-esteem in the face, along with all the fears that come with it. Look in the mirror and tell yourself that you do not feel sorry for yourself anymore and that you have the power and strength to feel and be happy, confident and successful, and you will do it because you are valuable and deserve it, just as anyone else would. Reassuring yourself is a big key to staying focused and improving the way you feel about yourself and the life you live. So do not be afraid to face yourself, and every time you do look at yourself and observe the things that go on around you, take notes of the positive things and the things you do like and admire about yourself.
Another essential thing you must stop doing is comparing yourself to others. You are you and not anyone else, and never will be anyone else. People are different and are created with different packages and talents. You are different and unique and hold talents and qualities that no one else has and will never have, and that is something to take pride in and love about you. Concentrate on learning and knowing that you are special, loveable, capable and very much acceptable. It all begins with accepting yourself, and you are the most important person to receive acceptance from. Once you have received official approval and acceptance from yourself, everything and everyone else around you will do the same and follow.
Living a life of great confidence can be challenging, but can be done. You might have even tried giving your self-esteem a boost, but were later disappointed to see that it did not quite work out the way you imagined. If this is true, do not run away just yet! This behavior is very common. Like every other person, you have probably adapted and grown to believe that feeling insecure and feeling that you are not good enough is normal and impossible to beat; therefore you just accept it and set an subconscious rule that you need to and deserve to feel badly and poorly when you look at yourself. This is where you need to take a few steps back. The thing about low self-esteem is, that is cannot be cured in one day, or even soon for that matter. The first thing you need to stop doing is giving yourself and everything around you unrealistic deadlines.
When you do come to times where you are not satisfied with the way you look or the things you have done, shift your mind and soul over to a positive side, pointing out the things you are happy with and feel great about, and always reward yourself for it. Treat yourself to something special that you will enjoy and feel fabulous about, and remind yourself that tomorrow is another day, which comes with brand new opportunities and more chances. Lastly, make your presence appear only around other positive people and other positive energies. Maintaining a healthy and high self-esteem will be successful if you continue to motivate and encourage it. So get up, stop feeling sorry for yourself and start changing the way you feel about and look at yourself. You deserve to happy and confident, because you are a fantastic and very special individual. You can do it�and you know you can!
Handling Your Fear On failure, death, flying, or any other phobia
Fear is a feeling that too often runs our lives. Whether it is fear of commitment, rejection, failure, death, flying, or any other phobia, it tends to keep us from living our lives to the fullest. Fear can be handled rationally and can be controlled if you are willing to work on it and are motivated enough in controlling it, instead of it controlling you.
The first thing you need to do is take the time to get to know your fears. Most of the time, people are aware of their fears, but never really get to know them. Set up a time when you can sit down and have an interview with your fear. What is your fear and where does it come from, and why do you fear it? These are questions that must be provided with answers in order to better understand your fear, so that you can start brainstorming about methods that will work best for you.
Start with acknowledging what the fear really is. Once you are fully aware of what your fear is, then work on figuring out where it comes from. For example, if you have a fear of failure, what gave birth to such a fear? There is a cause for everything, so if you feel puzzled on tracking down the place of where it came from, keep looking inside yourself until you find it. Did you do poorly in school as a young child? Did your parents constantly pressure you to do well, making you feel anxious and incapable of ever pleasing them? Knowing where your fear comes from is the biggest key to understanding it. Understanding your fears is good because it also means that you are able to find solutions to it.
After making the discovery of where your fear(s) come from, you may then ask yourself why you fear it so much. Many people have a fear to fly, for instance, because they hear news of airplane crashes and are terrified that they might share the same fate as the planes that crashed. Others fear flying because they are intimidated with the fact that they would be so high above the ground. Learning why your fear exists so strongly is important and will help you learn more about yourself and the way you think about things.
Once you figure all of this out, what do you do to handle your fear? Research tends to help greatly. Let's say you have a fear of commitment. The best thing to do is look back at all the experiences that helped build this fear. Did you get heartbroken several times from past relationships and now run away when an opportunity for a serious relationship comes to surface? Go back in time to those relationships and re-live what went wrong and why. You will discover that all those situations were different in some way and handled in different ways. What does that tell you? It tells you that no one is the same and no relationship is perfect. Admitting to this fact will help you understand that running away is not the answer, but what you really need to do is face and accept the imperfection in your relationships and work on ways to better the challenging situations.
Handling Your Fears in an Relationship
Talking about your fears with people will help too and feed you more knowledge on your fear. If your fear is commitment, then talk to a friend about it and ask them how their relationships are and how they handle challenges. You will soon learn that not all relationships end in heartbreak and that you are capable of having a happy and healthy relationship, just like anyone else. Talking about your fears will also be good self-therapy. Sometimes, just letting something off your chest helps tremendously, making you feel stronger and more prepared to face your fear and control it. So keep talking about it for as long as you need to.
Facing your fears and accepting that they exist will be a big breakthrough for you. When you feel strong enough to face it, just go for it without giving in to the intimidation. There is no doubt that it will be difficult and perhaps even impossible to go through with it in your first few attempts, but with practice and support from yourself and others, you will eventually stare you fear in the face and realize that you were the more powerful one this whole time.
Finding methods that work for you may take time, but will be worth it when you see how dramatically your life will change. You will be able to face the world more open mindedly, as well as do the things you have always wanted and deserved to do. When you allow fear to control your life, you are really pushing away experiences that you were meant to experience.
The important keys you need to remember are:
1. Defining you Fear
2. Finding out where it comes from
3. Learning why you fear it so much
4. Accepting it's existence
5. Facing it and taking control
The truth is, you might never terminate you fear entirely, but you will learn to take charge and decide just how much you will make your fear a part of your life and just how much of an influence it will have. There will be times you will want to give up and forget about conquering your fear, but every time these temptations come around, just remind yourself of the life you actually really want. A life that can be completely happy and one you can live to the fullest. When you remind yourself of this, use that strength right then and there and dare your fear to a challenge and show it who is boss!
The first thing you need to do is take the time to get to know your fears. Most of the time, people are aware of their fears, but never really get to know them. Set up a time when you can sit down and have an interview with your fear. What is your fear and where does it come from, and why do you fear it? These are questions that must be provided with answers in order to better understand your fear, so that you can start brainstorming about methods that will work best for you.
Start with acknowledging what the fear really is. Once you are fully aware of what your fear is, then work on figuring out where it comes from. For example, if you have a fear of failure, what gave birth to such a fear? There is a cause for everything, so if you feel puzzled on tracking down the place of where it came from, keep looking inside yourself until you find it. Did you do poorly in school as a young child? Did your parents constantly pressure you to do well, making you feel anxious and incapable of ever pleasing them? Knowing where your fear comes from is the biggest key to understanding it. Understanding your fears is good because it also means that you are able to find solutions to it.
After making the discovery of where your fear(s) come from, you may then ask yourself why you fear it so much. Many people have a fear to fly, for instance, because they hear news of airplane crashes and are terrified that they might share the same fate as the planes that crashed. Others fear flying because they are intimidated with the fact that they would be so high above the ground. Learning why your fear exists so strongly is important and will help you learn more about yourself and the way you think about things.
Once you figure all of this out, what do you do to handle your fear? Research tends to help greatly. Let's say you have a fear of commitment. The best thing to do is look back at all the experiences that helped build this fear. Did you get heartbroken several times from past relationships and now run away when an opportunity for a serious relationship comes to surface? Go back in time to those relationships and re-live what went wrong and why. You will discover that all those situations were different in some way and handled in different ways. What does that tell you? It tells you that no one is the same and no relationship is perfect. Admitting to this fact will help you understand that running away is not the answer, but what you really need to do is face and accept the imperfection in your relationships and work on ways to better the challenging situations.
Handling Your Fears in an Relationship
Talking about your fears with people will help too and feed you more knowledge on your fear. If your fear is commitment, then talk to a friend about it and ask them how their relationships are and how they handle challenges. You will soon learn that not all relationships end in heartbreak and that you are capable of having a happy and healthy relationship, just like anyone else. Talking about your fears will also be good self-therapy. Sometimes, just letting something off your chest helps tremendously, making you feel stronger and more prepared to face your fear and control it. So keep talking about it for as long as you need to.
Facing your fears and accepting that they exist will be a big breakthrough for you. When you feel strong enough to face it, just go for it without giving in to the intimidation. There is no doubt that it will be difficult and perhaps even impossible to go through with it in your first few attempts, but with practice and support from yourself and others, you will eventually stare you fear in the face and realize that you were the more powerful one this whole time.
Finding methods that work for you may take time, but will be worth it when you see how dramatically your life will change. You will be able to face the world more open mindedly, as well as do the things you have always wanted and deserved to do. When you allow fear to control your life, you are really pushing away experiences that you were meant to experience.
The important keys you need to remember are:
1. Defining you Fear
2. Finding out where it comes from
3. Learning why you fear it so much
4. Accepting it's existence
5. Facing it and taking control
The truth is, you might never terminate you fear entirely, but you will learn to take charge and decide just how much you will make your fear a part of your life and just how much of an influence it will have. There will be times you will want to give up and forget about conquering your fear, but every time these temptations come around, just remind yourself of the life you actually really want. A life that can be completely happy and one you can live to the fullest. When you remind yourself of this, use that strength right then and there and dare your fear to a challenge and show it who is boss!
How to live a happy and satisfied Life
In each day that passes by, we stand by and witness how our lives are being lived without the full happiness and satisfaction we crave and need. Most people spend their time stressed out, worried and on a constant panic about what needs to be done for their futures, raising their children, wired up over work, school, along with everything else. Does this sound familiar? Well if it does, it is because so many people live with this style and pattern. When you can start living that fully happy and satisfied life?
The only way you can live a happy and satisfied life, is when you start doing things that make you happy and satisfied. Sure, it sounds easy, and can be easy if you just remember to make yourself one of your top priorities. Too many people neglect themselves, feeling that it would be selfish if they took any time out to focus on their own being. While it is good to take care of others and other important things going on in your life, it is mandatory that you never forget about yourself. Discover who you really are and what matters most to you. Living a great life does not just happen. It requires, planning and following those plans to a life that reflects who you truly are.
Most people avoid planning goals and dreams in their lives because they may have a fear of committing to it or failing. They feel that by officially writing it down, they would actually have to go through with pursuing it. This is where you need to rate the importance of your life missions. What is most important to you? Is it losing a certain amount of weight? Getting your degree? Spending more time with your spouse or children? Whatever the reason or reasons may be, just write all of them down. You may feel that making a mental note of your goals and dreams is enough, but you could very well be setting yourself up for disappointment and failure. By writing it down, you will become a visual witness of those goals. Try writing them in an organizer, with a little reminder written in each day.
Setting deadlines for these goals would be a great way to assure they will be accomplished. Avoid disappointment by setting realistic deadlines. For example, if you wanted to lose 10 pounds, do not give yourself a week to do so. You will only torture yourself and become depressed when the week is over and see that you did not come even close to losing the 10 pounds. In fact, you may give up losing weight altogether because of the failure you experienced, simply because your deadline was unrealistic. Take some time everyday to look over your goals and remind yourself of how important they really are to you. Ask yourself why they are important to you too. Knowing that something is important is not enough. You must know the reasons behind the importance of the dreams and goals you have, so that your mind can see it more clearly and understand exactly why it is so necessary to go through with your missions.
Excuses are demons you must learn to fight off if you wish to start living a happy and satisfied life. Most people claim to have many dreams, but say they just do not have the time to approach them. Stop making excuses! You are the only one who holds the power to make a real difference in your life. Sure, we all have busy lives with our careers and families, but nothing takes up 24 hours of your day. So if something is truly important to you, you will be sure to make the time to work on it. You can do this by replacing it with something less important. For example, if you claim you do not have the time to work on the other important goals in your life, perhaps it is time for you to start making close observations on the way you spend your time. If you spend several hours of the day working, studying, and then several hours taking care of house chores and family, what else are you doing with the rest of your day? If you spend a good portion watching television, then you need to cut back on that and use that time to begin and follow an exercise plan you have been thinking to focus on for a long time (or whatever goal it is you have).
Making yourself one of your first priorities is not selfish. It actually is obligatory to do so in order to succeed in the other subjects of your life. Without a happy and satisfied you, there will be no happy and satisfied life, because you will be stressed out and unhappy. You might be consciously ignoring your needs and desires, but your subconscious mind has not forgotten about you and will constantly remind you through stress, anger, sadness, insecurity and feelings of failure.
Start listening to yourself and becoming the best friend and supporter you need. No one is going to work on your happiness for you, so find the power and motivation stored up inside you, and use it to direct yourself into the path of true happiness and satisfaction. You can do anything you set your mind to, and once you have stopped and gotten
The only way you can live a happy and satisfied life, is when you start doing things that make you happy and satisfied. Sure, it sounds easy, and can be easy if you just remember to make yourself one of your top priorities. Too many people neglect themselves, feeling that it would be selfish if they took any time out to focus on their own being. While it is good to take care of others and other important things going on in your life, it is mandatory that you never forget about yourself. Discover who you really are and what matters most to you. Living a great life does not just happen. It requires, planning and following those plans to a life that reflects who you truly are.
Most people avoid planning goals and dreams in their lives because they may have a fear of committing to it or failing. They feel that by officially writing it down, they would actually have to go through with pursuing it. This is where you need to rate the importance of your life missions. What is most important to you? Is it losing a certain amount of weight? Getting your degree? Spending more time with your spouse or children? Whatever the reason or reasons may be, just write all of them down. You may feel that making a mental note of your goals and dreams is enough, but you could very well be setting yourself up for disappointment and failure. By writing it down, you will become a visual witness of those goals. Try writing them in an organizer, with a little reminder written in each day.
Setting deadlines for these goals would be a great way to assure they will be accomplished. Avoid disappointment by setting realistic deadlines. For example, if you wanted to lose 10 pounds, do not give yourself a week to do so. You will only torture yourself and become depressed when the week is over and see that you did not come even close to losing the 10 pounds. In fact, you may give up losing weight altogether because of the failure you experienced, simply because your deadline was unrealistic. Take some time everyday to look over your goals and remind yourself of how important they really are to you. Ask yourself why they are important to you too. Knowing that something is important is not enough. You must know the reasons behind the importance of the dreams and goals you have, so that your mind can see it more clearly and understand exactly why it is so necessary to go through with your missions.
Excuses are demons you must learn to fight off if you wish to start living a happy and satisfied life. Most people claim to have many dreams, but say they just do not have the time to approach them. Stop making excuses! You are the only one who holds the power to make a real difference in your life. Sure, we all have busy lives with our careers and families, but nothing takes up 24 hours of your day. So if something is truly important to you, you will be sure to make the time to work on it. You can do this by replacing it with something less important. For example, if you claim you do not have the time to work on the other important goals in your life, perhaps it is time for you to start making close observations on the way you spend your time. If you spend several hours of the day working, studying, and then several hours taking care of house chores and family, what else are you doing with the rest of your day? If you spend a good portion watching television, then you need to cut back on that and use that time to begin and follow an exercise plan you have been thinking to focus on for a long time (or whatever goal it is you have).
Making yourself one of your first priorities is not selfish. It actually is obligatory to do so in order to succeed in the other subjects of your life. Without a happy and satisfied you, there will be no happy and satisfied life, because you will be stressed out and unhappy. You might be consciously ignoring your needs and desires, but your subconscious mind has not forgotten about you and will constantly remind you through stress, anger, sadness, insecurity and feelings of failure.
Start listening to yourself and becoming the best friend and supporter you need. No one is going to work on your happiness for you, so find the power and motivation stored up inside you, and use it to direct yourself into the path of true happiness and satisfaction. You can do anything you set your mind to, and once you have stopped and gotten
Conquering your Jealousy
Jealousy. It may only be a simple word, but does not have such a simple definition behind it. There are many reasons we feel jealous and though it is a normal human emotion to feel, it tends to get out of control if we fail to tame it. In order to tame it and control it however, you will first have to learn where your jealousy is coming from. There is always a cause for jealousy to arise and once you have those causes figured out, controlling it will become easier.
When your jealous emotions come out, all you know is that you are feeling that way, correct? That is where you need to stop! It will be hard to remember, but you must take a pause every time you feel jealous and ask yourself why you feel that way. Does it have something to do with your own self-esteem, or does the person you are in a relationship with provide you with good reasons to feel this way? Speaking of self-esteem, jealousy is a good way of lowering it. So no matter what the reasons may be, it is extremely important for you to conquer it, otherwise it can do great damage to your self-esteem.
Once you figure out where your jealousy is coming from, you will then need to discover why it makes you feel jealous. For instance, if you figured out that it makes you jealous when your boyfriend or girlfriend talks to the opposite sex, then you need to discover why it makes you jealous. Did you have an experience in a previous relationship that now causes you to feel jealous with similar situations, or do you just have a fear of being betrayed? If so, why does that fear exist? Is your self-esteem a little lower than you thought? As you can see, there is a huge line of questions that need to be asked and answered in order for your jealousy to be conquered and under control. Acknowledging it is the first and important step, so you are already on the right and smart track!
Once you have realized where your jealousy comes from and what causes it, you can then concentrate on keeping it in control and hopefully get rid of it. If the reason has something to do with your partner, then it is best to have a serious conversation with him or her about it. Do not be afraid or feel stupid for feeling the way you feel. You have the right to express yourself and they are entitled to knowing what is making you feel jealous. If they truly care about you, they will work on ways to prevent you from experiencing such emotions. It is also a good idea to make an appointment with yourself and find ways you can improve your self-love and health, so that you can gain more strength and confidence, and be ready fight off such jealousies when they come to surface.
Toning down your jealousy and possibly getting rid of it for good will take time. It all depends on the situations and reasons. If having a flirtatious partner makes you jealous and your partner stops flirting, then it may be easier to overcome. However, if your jealousy is coming from a different area such as your competitive nature towards other women, then it will be more difficult. It is very common for women to feel jealous of each other's physique, success and relationships. The best way to fight this jealousy off is to improve your own self-health and lifestyle. Do things that boost your confidence. If you feel jealous of what great shape another woman is in and the attention she gets, then perhaps you should focus on yourself rather than her success. Concentrate on finding ways to satisfy yourself both physically and mentally.
Learning how to handle your jealous emotions will be a huge influence on how your situations will turn out. Combine your jealousy with a more rational emotion so that you can keep it from going overboard. If you combined it with an equally or almost equally stressful emotion such as anger, you will only push yourself back from reaching the outcomes you really want and are looking for. You could end up making a decision that will leave you feeling worse.
To keep yourself on the right track of jealousy conquering, just remember these steps:
Acknowledge your Jealousy.
Ask yourself where it is coming from.
Question why it makes you feel Jealous.
Make self-health and lifestyle changes that will assist you in fighting it off.
Combine jealousy with a more rational emotion.
Practice!
As long as you keep those steps in mind and follow them, you will learn how to take control of your jealousy instead of it controlling you. The last step is important . . . practice! You know the saying, practice makes perfect. So if you continue to practice these steps, controlling this stressful emotion will become easier and easier, until you have become a total master at it. Taking control of your emotions will make you the leader and not follower of your emotions, which can prevent you from entering many unwanted territories, such as break ups, low self-esteem, depression and even an increased amount of jealousy. You will be able to focus on the more important topics in your life and see things with a more clear and open mind, which will guide you into making better decisions and finding better solutions to the obstacles you will face in your relationships and life in general.
When your jealous emotions come out, all you know is that you are feeling that way, correct? That is where you need to stop! It will be hard to remember, but you must take a pause every time you feel jealous and ask yourself why you feel that way. Does it have something to do with your own self-esteem, or does the person you are in a relationship with provide you with good reasons to feel this way? Speaking of self-esteem, jealousy is a good way of lowering it. So no matter what the reasons may be, it is extremely important for you to conquer it, otherwise it can do great damage to your self-esteem.
Once you figure out where your jealousy is coming from, you will then need to discover why it makes you feel jealous. For instance, if you figured out that it makes you jealous when your boyfriend or girlfriend talks to the opposite sex, then you need to discover why it makes you jealous. Did you have an experience in a previous relationship that now causes you to feel jealous with similar situations, or do you just have a fear of being betrayed? If so, why does that fear exist? Is your self-esteem a little lower than you thought? As you can see, there is a huge line of questions that need to be asked and answered in order for your jealousy to be conquered and under control. Acknowledging it is the first and important step, so you are already on the right and smart track!
Once you have realized where your jealousy comes from and what causes it, you can then concentrate on keeping it in control and hopefully get rid of it. If the reason has something to do with your partner, then it is best to have a serious conversation with him or her about it. Do not be afraid or feel stupid for feeling the way you feel. You have the right to express yourself and they are entitled to knowing what is making you feel jealous. If they truly care about you, they will work on ways to prevent you from experiencing such emotions. It is also a good idea to make an appointment with yourself and find ways you can improve your self-love and health, so that you can gain more strength and confidence, and be ready fight off such jealousies when they come to surface.
Toning down your jealousy and possibly getting rid of it for good will take time. It all depends on the situations and reasons. If having a flirtatious partner makes you jealous and your partner stops flirting, then it may be easier to overcome. However, if your jealousy is coming from a different area such as your competitive nature towards other women, then it will be more difficult. It is very common for women to feel jealous of each other's physique, success and relationships. The best way to fight this jealousy off is to improve your own self-health and lifestyle. Do things that boost your confidence. If you feel jealous of what great shape another woman is in and the attention she gets, then perhaps you should focus on yourself rather than her success. Concentrate on finding ways to satisfy yourself both physically and mentally.
Learning how to handle your jealous emotions will be a huge influence on how your situations will turn out. Combine your jealousy with a more rational emotion so that you can keep it from going overboard. If you combined it with an equally or almost equally stressful emotion such as anger, you will only push yourself back from reaching the outcomes you really want and are looking for. You could end up making a decision that will leave you feeling worse.
To keep yourself on the right track of jealousy conquering, just remember these steps:
Acknowledge your Jealousy.
Ask yourself where it is coming from.
Question why it makes you feel Jealous.
Make self-health and lifestyle changes that will assist you in fighting it off.
Combine jealousy with a more rational emotion.
Practice!
As long as you keep those steps in mind and follow them, you will learn how to take control of your jealousy instead of it controlling you. The last step is important . . . practice! You know the saying, practice makes perfect. So if you continue to practice these steps, controlling this stressful emotion will become easier and easier, until you have become a total master at it. Taking control of your emotions will make you the leader and not follower of your emotions, which can prevent you from entering many unwanted territories, such as break ups, low self-esteem, depression and even an increased amount of jealousy. You will be able to focus on the more important topics in your life and see things with a more clear and open mind, which will guide you into making better decisions and finding better solutions to the obstacles you will face in your relationships and life in general.
Prescription for a Broken Heart
Being heartbroken is a pain that no one can understand until they have experienced it for themselves. You obviously have, therefore are aware of how fragile your heart is right now. Healing a broken heart will take time, but is not impossible, though it may feel that way at the time. It is never an easy process to go through, but with the right prescription, you will be on your way to recovery and happiness again.
The first thing you should keep in mind is that it is okay to feel sad and grieve about what happened and that you are not stupid for doing so. It is perfectly normal to feel sad and cry after a break up. You have invested most of your time and all of your love and interest into your ex-partner; therefore will go through a sad and painful withdrawal. It is notable that you not grieve all on your own. Sure, there will be times when you will just want to be alone and undisturbed. However, it is important that you talk to your friends and family about it. Talking about it is not only healthy, but will mend your heart quicker because you will release the thoughts and facts that are hurting you so much. Seeking professional advice will be a great help to you as well because your mind will open up and see new perspectives and understandings of what happened. It will help you gather your strength, pick yourself up, and find the happiness you deserve to have.
Accepting the fact that you and your ex-partner are no longer together is a necessity if you are going to start mending your broken heart. If you catch yourself unable to function due to constantly thinking about your ex or repeatedly calling or visiting him or her for another chance, then chances are you are suffering from love addiction and should seek counseling. Discontinuing a serious relationship is emotionally challenging and can drive you to do things that are unhealthy for your self-being. To avoid entering such hazardous areas, keep yourself occupied. Go out with your friends and family to help get your mind off the break up. It is best to spend as less time alone as you can in the first few weeks of your breakup so that your emotions can slowly and patiently form back into their normal pattern.
Fight the thoughts that tell you that you are a failure and are to blame for the end of your relationship. When a relationship ends it means that the two of you were no longer compatible and that always takes two, not just you. Instead of beating yourself up over what has transpired, examine your ex-relationship by listing the things you enjoyed most about it and then the things that disappointed you and what you believe really caused the breakup. Look at the relationship as a learning experience and an opportunity to improve your relationship skills, and a way to realize what you truly need and want from a romantic relationship.
The first thing you should keep in mind is that it is okay to feel sad and grieve about what happened and that you are not stupid for doing so. It is perfectly normal to feel sad and cry after a break up. You have invested most of your time and all of your love and interest into your ex-partner; therefore will go through a sad and painful withdrawal. It is notable that you not grieve all on your own. Sure, there will be times when you will just want to be alone and undisturbed. However, it is important that you talk to your friends and family about it. Talking about it is not only healthy, but will mend your heart quicker because you will release the thoughts and facts that are hurting you so much. Seeking professional advice will be a great help to you as well because your mind will open up and see new perspectives and understandings of what happened. It will help you gather your strength, pick yourself up, and find the happiness you deserve to have.
Accepting the fact that you and your ex-partner are no longer together is a necessity if you are going to start mending your broken heart. If you catch yourself unable to function due to constantly thinking about your ex or repeatedly calling or visiting him or her for another chance, then chances are you are suffering from love addiction and should seek counseling. Discontinuing a serious relationship is emotionally challenging and can drive you to do things that are unhealthy for your self-being. To avoid entering such hazardous areas, keep yourself occupied. Go out with your friends and family to help get your mind off the break up. It is best to spend as less time alone as you can in the first few weeks of your breakup so that your emotions can slowly and patiently form back into their normal pattern.
Fight the thoughts that tell you that you are a failure and are to blame for the end of your relationship. When a relationship ends it means that the two of you were no longer compatible and that always takes two, not just you. Instead of beating yourself up over what has transpired, examine your ex-relationship by listing the things you enjoyed most about it and then the things that disappointed you and what you believe really caused the breakup. Look at the relationship as a learning experience and an opportunity to improve your relationship skills, and a way to realize what you truly need and want from a romantic relationship.
Building the Bond in your Relationship
A bond (relationship wise) is when two people have a connection. Being attracted to each other and sharing common values and interests brought the two of you together as a couple, but the bond has not been set completely. Besides the fact that you have love and care between you, you also need to see whether or not the two of you are friends. Is it possible to be friends? Absolutely! As a matter of fact, it is a must if the two of you are going to build a lasting bond.
Having a strong longing and passion for another is important, but is not enough fuel to keep the bond running. With friendship, your relationship will remain having that strength under all kinds of circumstances. There will be times, for example, when you as a couple are not living in your most passionate times. This is natural and does not mean there is no longer love or desire. As your relationship deepens, you will go through many experiences and stages that may put your romance and frequent hot sex aside for a while. This is where friendship comes in and why it is so important. You should be there for each other and understand your partner's situations and concerns. Just take a look at your friends. See what makes your friendship with them so great. You then need to see if your partner has those same similarities or exact (sticking up for you when you need the back up for instance) qualities. Another point to keep in mind is keeping yourself aware of what behavior you would not except from a friend. You should definitely not accept those behaviors from your mate (like standing you up all the time) either.
It is not easy to put our friends and lovers in the same comparison because we are in love with our partners, and therefore will be more patient with them than we would with our friends. You can easily blind yourself due to the love you feel for that person and not even realize when he or she is not being a good friend and partner to you. How can you tell? A true friendship is basically the same as the true qualities that define real love. The difference is, we are in love and have a deep desire for our mates, with commitment and a goal of building a future, and perhaps even getting married and making a family together. The list below will help you see if your lover is a friend to you as well.
You can talk to and confide in each other about anything.
Your partner is there for you when you need to talk to someone.
Being able to always rely on each other when one is counted on.
Having a permanent shoulder to cry on when we need it
Having many things in common
Accepting one another for who we are
Listening to us and considering our opinions important
Do not feel guilty for having higher expectations from your lover either. People often feel like they should be more lenient and understanding when it comes to their lovers. Even though it is important to keep an understanding attitude (to avoid misunderstandings and arguments), you should never let things always slide or make up excuses for your partner's wrong doings. You should expect better and not except such behavior. You deserve better. After all, you invest most of your emotions and time into your partner, so always remember that you are entitled to receive the same.
Having a strong longing and passion for another is important, but is not enough fuel to keep the bond running. With friendship, your relationship will remain having that strength under all kinds of circumstances. There will be times, for example, when you as a couple are not living in your most passionate times. This is natural and does not mean there is no longer love or desire. As your relationship deepens, you will go through many experiences and stages that may put your romance and frequent hot sex aside for a while. This is where friendship comes in and why it is so important. You should be there for each other and understand your partner's situations and concerns. Just take a look at your friends. See what makes your friendship with them so great. You then need to see if your partner has those same similarities or exact (sticking up for you when you need the back up for instance) qualities. Another point to keep in mind is keeping yourself aware of what behavior you would not except from a friend. You should definitely not accept those behaviors from your mate (like standing you up all the time) either.
It is not easy to put our friends and lovers in the same comparison because we are in love with our partners, and therefore will be more patient with them than we would with our friends. You can easily blind yourself due to the love you feel for that person and not even realize when he or she is not being a good friend and partner to you. How can you tell? A true friendship is basically the same as the true qualities that define real love. The difference is, we are in love and have a deep desire for our mates, with commitment and a goal of building a future, and perhaps even getting married and making a family together. The list below will help you see if your lover is a friend to you as well.
You can talk to and confide in each other about anything.
Your partner is there for you when you need to talk to someone.
Being able to always rely on each other when one is counted on.
Having a permanent shoulder to cry on when we need it
Having many things in common
Accepting one another for who we are
Listening to us and considering our opinions important
Do not feel guilty for having higher expectations from your lover either. People often feel like they should be more lenient and understanding when it comes to their lovers. Even though it is important to keep an understanding attitude (to avoid misunderstandings and arguments), you should never let things always slide or make up excuses for your partner's wrong doings. You should expect better and not except such behavior. You deserve better. After all, you invest most of your emotions and time into your partner, so always remember that you are entitled to receive the same.
Recipe for a Healthy Relationship
First off, it is important to ask yourself what you consider a real relationship to be. You need to understand what your needs and desires are from another person, and what you are willing to give them. This way, you can see early in your first dates, if you wish to continue and work towards a future together, and if the other person feels the same of course (both sides count).
Once you have decided to have an official relationship, you both need to remember what brought the two of you together in the first place. For instance, what attracted you to each other both physically and emotionally? What do you admire about his or her personality? This will help not taking the other for granted, which can often happen after two people have been together for a long time. This does not mean the love is fading, but it does mean that there is lack of effort. People tend to get lazy after a while, because they feel comfortable and safe. This problem can be solved when both people are willing to make the time and effort. Read also our Love Pullution article.
Everyone is independent in their own beliefs and ideas about things, so never expect a person to always see things your way. However, it is important to have similar expectations out of a relationship, if you wish to avoid frequent arguments. Look for things like whether or not it is important for the both of you to see each other everyday, or have sex often. While seeing each other on a daily basis seems wonderful and healthy to some people, others may feel smothered and need space to have some alone time. Or if sex is on the top of your list, but is not on your partners, you might want to consider that, unless you do not mind waiting or taking care of yourself once in a while depending on how long you have to wait!
Patience is one of the main keys to a healthy relationship. There are times when our partner will not respond in a way in which is pleasing to us, but this does not mean we have to take it so seriously or personally. Always slow down, take a deep breath and think of reasons why your partner may be acting a certain way. Assuming and jumping to conclusions is always an unhealthy step to take because it shows your partner that they are not entitled to act freely and they feel attacked, not to mention it shows that you automatically assume the worst of them. Give your partner some time and let them know that you will be there for them when they are ready to talk. No matter what the situation may be, patience is golden in a relationship, unless your partner never wants to discuss matters with you (which would mean you need counseling or leave the relationship).
Honesty is also at the top of everyone's list when it comes to what people want out of a relationship. A person needs to know that they can trust their mate because it builds a zone of safety and comfortableness around them. They need to know that they can at least rely on their loving partner to tell them the truth, no matter what. Being human means NOT being perfect, which means we will make mistakes. Now, we should not let that fact lead us to making mistakes we already know are wrong ahead of time. If your partner deliberately makes mistakes or you knowingly make mistakes, it shows that you or your partner lacks respect and care for the other. This is unhealthy for the relationship. What is healthy however, is realizing that the mistake you committed is a mistake. You or your partner need to know that what they did was wrong and they need to feel the sympathy for what they did. Once you or partner have realized this, you can then figure out a way of how you will confess your wrong doings to the other.
Once you have decided to have an official relationship, you both need to remember what brought the two of you together in the first place. For instance, what attracted you to each other both physically and emotionally? What do you admire about his or her personality? This will help not taking the other for granted, which can often happen after two people have been together for a long time. This does not mean the love is fading, but it does mean that there is lack of effort. People tend to get lazy after a while, because they feel comfortable and safe. This problem can be solved when both people are willing to make the time and effort. Read also our Love Pullution article.
Everyone is independent in their own beliefs and ideas about things, so never expect a person to always see things your way. However, it is important to have similar expectations out of a relationship, if you wish to avoid frequent arguments. Look for things like whether or not it is important for the both of you to see each other everyday, or have sex often. While seeing each other on a daily basis seems wonderful and healthy to some people, others may feel smothered and need space to have some alone time. Or if sex is on the top of your list, but is not on your partners, you might want to consider that, unless you do not mind waiting or taking care of yourself once in a while depending on how long you have to wait!
Patience is one of the main keys to a healthy relationship. There are times when our partner will not respond in a way in which is pleasing to us, but this does not mean we have to take it so seriously or personally. Always slow down, take a deep breath and think of reasons why your partner may be acting a certain way. Assuming and jumping to conclusions is always an unhealthy step to take because it shows your partner that they are not entitled to act freely and they feel attacked, not to mention it shows that you automatically assume the worst of them. Give your partner some time and let them know that you will be there for them when they are ready to talk. No matter what the situation may be, patience is golden in a relationship, unless your partner never wants to discuss matters with you (which would mean you need counseling or leave the relationship).
Honesty is also at the top of everyone's list when it comes to what people want out of a relationship. A person needs to know that they can trust their mate because it builds a zone of safety and comfortableness around them. They need to know that they can at least rely on their loving partner to tell them the truth, no matter what. Being human means NOT being perfect, which means we will make mistakes. Now, we should not let that fact lead us to making mistakes we already know are wrong ahead of time. If your partner deliberately makes mistakes or you knowingly make mistakes, it shows that you or your partner lacks respect and care for the other. This is unhealthy for the relationship. What is healthy however, is realizing that the mistake you committed is a mistake. You or your partner need to know that what they did was wrong and they need to feel the sympathy for what they did. Once you or partner have realized this, you can then figure out a way of how you will confess your wrong doings to the other.
....
And as a single tear ran down her cheek, she looked to him for comfort, and all he was look away.-
“I don't have to be your first love, but I do want to be your last."
And remember this...never say I love you, if you don't really care...never talk about feelings, if they aren't really there...never touch a life, if you mean to break a heart...never say you're going to, if you don't plan to start...never look me in they eye, when all you do is lie...never say hello, if you really mean good-bye."
“I don't have to be your first love, but I do want to be your last."
And remember this...never say I love you, if you don't really care...never talk about feelings, if they aren't really there...never touch a life, if you mean to break a heart...never say you're going to, if you don't plan to start...never look me in they eye, when all you do is lie...never say hello, if you really mean good-bye."
Thats what i wish for...
Be together, share your joy and sorrow, understand each other, provide space to each other, but always be there for each others need. And surely love will blossom to strengthen your relationship with your matter of affection.
Cant feel the love...
What is love? It is one of the most difficult questions for the mankind. Centuries have passed by, relationships have bloomed and so has love. But no one can give the proper definition of love. To some Love is friendship set on fire for others Maybe love is like luck. You have to go all the way to find it. No matter how you define it or feel it, love is the eternal truth in the history of mankind.
Love is patient, love is kind. It has no envy, nor it boasts itself and it is never proud. It rejoices over the evil and is the truth seeker. Love protects; preserves and hopes for the positive aspect of life. Always stand steadfast in love, not fall into it. It is like the dream of your matter of affection coming true. Love can occur between two or more individuals. It bonds them and connects them in a unified link of trust, intimacy and interdependence. It enhances the relationship and comforts the soul. Love should be experienced and not just felt. The depth of love can not be measured. Look at the relationship between a mother and a child. The mother loves the child unconditionally and it can not be measured at all. A different dimension can be attained between any relationships with the magic of love. Love can be created. You just need to focus on the goodness of the other person. If this can be done easily, then you can also love easily. And remember we all have some positive aspect in us, no matter how bad our deeds maybe. And as God said Love all
Love is patient, love is kind. It has no envy, nor it boasts itself and it is never proud. It rejoices over the evil and is the truth seeker. Love protects; preserves and hopes for the positive aspect of life. Always stand steadfast in love, not fall into it. It is like the dream of your matter of affection coming true. Love can occur between two or more individuals. It bonds them and connects them in a unified link of trust, intimacy and interdependence. It enhances the relationship and comforts the soul. Love should be experienced and not just felt. The depth of love can not be measured. Look at the relationship between a mother and a child. The mother loves the child unconditionally and it can not be measured at all. A different dimension can be attained between any relationships with the magic of love. Love can be created. You just need to focus on the goodness of the other person. If this can be done easily, then you can also love easily. And remember we all have some positive aspect in us, no matter how bad our deeds maybe. And as God said Love all
Wednesday, November 16, 2011
隻有我懂自己的痛
我總是喜歡在如此孤獨的夜裏，翻起過去，那些被自己深埋心底的往事，得到的，擁有的，失去的，有種恍然如夢的感覺。一直都很明白，自己是不該沉迷於過去的，忘記不該記住的，忘卻一切，那樣才能換來短暫的輕鬆。其實，我是害怕深夜的，會有一種無盡的寂寞襲向我；我卻又喜歡深夜，因為隻有周圍漆黑一片，我和我的淚才是安全的。
想起了曾經說過的一句諾言，如今卻明白感情其實並非自己所能控製，沒有人知道明天會發生什麼，既然擁有著，就學會享受吧。也許存在才有希望，不要等到有一天愛情失去了原本的色彩，諾言也就一文不值了。這世上的事有開始就會有結束，感情亦如此吧。等到 Game over的那一刻，是毀滅還是解脫，也隻能獨自承受。
是誰說過，有愛就不會受傷害；是誰說過，有愛就不會分開。我隻知道，當我想起這些話的時候會心疼。天知道我多麼需要如此愛的溫暖，如果可以，我希望在生命終結的那一刻，還可以安心的擁有著。隻是，………在你冷漠的話語中，我知道這一切都已經埋葬在了所謂的幸福中，徹底的失去了。曾經把愛深深埋在了心底，以為這樣才是最安全的，卻不知如此的距離也將自己傷的最深。
愛是兩個人感情的寄託，也是兩個人真心的走在一起的，生活中我們都離不開愛，沒有愛的生活毫無意義，就象兩個沒有感情的活在一起，不但是身體的折磨，而且是心靈的腐朽，精神的摧殘，太物質化的東西不會長久，太現實化的問題隻是一種空想，太愛一個不愛自己的人隻是另一個的負擔，太相信一個人的承諾隻會更加的失去自我！最後隻能托著疲憊不堪的身體躲在無人的角落一個人哭泣！
海誓山盟的感情，對於現在的現實生活也許隻是一種妄想，太多的感情都存在於金錢與理性之間，而往往金錢卻更勝一籌，記得有人這樣的告訴我，現在的社會， 有錢就有感情，有時甚至感情在金錢麵前一文不值，雖然這句話太過於極端，但他也真正的體現了現在人對生活的一種渴望，對物質生活的渴望，並不是說這樣選擇 生活的人就是貪婪，因為每個人選擇生活的方式不同，一個問題站在不同角度，去想，去看，他體現出來的意義就不一樣，但也不要被現實沖昏了頭腦！
參照周圍的感情，曾經覺得自己是幸福的。隻是突然發現，自己的手心和手背都是冰涼的，竟然找不到 可以取暖的東西。那樣的我還是幸福的嗎？我是不是一直都在自欺欺人，也許這個世上本沒有誰是誰的誰，我隻能妥協，在愛情麵前，向寂寞低頭。原來，愛與不愛 都是寂寞的。愛比不愛更寂寞。
有時候覺得我安靜起來確實可怕，冷得讓人難以接近，甚至可以把人擊垮。其實這隻是一種自我保護，一種內心脆弱的真實寫照。心都冷了，還有什麼會是溫暖的呢？腦子裏一下子閃過好多人，隻是都如煙花般一瞬隨即消逝。試著用左手握住了右手，給了自己最簡單的溫暖。不再奢求別人的給予，開始學著自己給自己。
朋友請好好的珍惜你身邊的你愛的或者是愛你的人，佛說：十年修得同船渡，百年修得共枕眠
，那麼我們為什麼就不能好好的珍惜身邊已有的幸福呢！
=
讚好 3
戀愛談到什麼時候才合適結婚
她們總是說，我不結婚，我要等他什麼都有的時候再嫁給他。可是傻丫頭，等他有房有車有銀子什麼都有的時候，新娘可能就不是你了……
有一個朋友，已經和她男友跑了六年的馬拉鬆了，兩人青梅竹馬，朋友們隻等著
繼續閱讀
讚好 3
激情過後你愛我嗎
「愛」字好虛幻，上一刻，你我還擁抱接吻、牽手散步，下一刻，你卻連電話都不回、冷言冷語相待，倒底，你愛我嗎？戀愛中的人，總是玩著猜心的遊戲，若即若離的曖昧，是愛情的靈藥也是愛情的毒藥。
婉華跟小駿
繼續閱讀
讚好 9
跟著你、就是要你疼的
女孩喜歡上了男人，對他很好，是很好的那種。她給他洗衣服，收拾房間，早晨買早點給他，小鳥依人的靠在男人身邊。男人覺得有人這樣無微不至的照顧是件很愜意的事情，於是他們順理成章地在一起。男人習慣有女孩在身邊
繼續閱讀
讚好 26
別怪婆婆
老人家常常不講道理的
畢竟年代久遠 三從四德的觀念揮之不去
但是如果你真愛你的老公 就能愛屋及烏
我總是喜歡在如此孤獨的夜裏，翻起過去，那些被自己深埋心底的往事，得到的，擁有的，失去的，有種恍然如夢的感覺。一直都很明白，自己是不該沉迷於過去的，忘記不該記住的，忘卻一切，那樣才能換來短暫的輕鬆。其實，我是害怕深夜的，會有一種無盡的寂寞襲向我；我卻又喜歡深夜，因為隻有周圍漆黑一片，我和我的淚才是安全的。
想起了曾經說過的一句諾言，如今卻明白感情其實並非自己所能控製，沒有人知道明天會發生什麼，既然擁有著，就學會享受吧。也許存在才有希望，不要等到有一天愛情失去了原本的色彩，諾言也就一文不值了。這世上的事有開始就會有結束，感情亦如此吧。等到 Game over的那一刻，是毀滅還是解脫，也隻能獨自承受。
是誰說過，有愛就不會受傷害；是誰說過，有愛就不會分開。我隻知道，當我想起這些話的時候會心疼。天知道我多麼需要如此愛的溫暖，如果可以，我希望在生命終結的那一刻，還可以安心的擁有著。隻是，………在你冷漠的話語中，我知道這一切都已經埋葬在了所謂的幸福中，徹底的失去了。曾經把愛深深埋在了心底，以為這樣才是最安全的，卻不知如此的距離也將自己傷的最深。
愛是兩個人感情的寄託，也是兩個人真心的走在一起的，生活中我們都離不開愛，沒有愛的生活毫無意義，就象兩個沒有感情的活在一起，不但是身體的折磨，而且是心靈的腐朽，精神的摧殘，太物質化的東西不會長久，太現實化的問題隻是一種空想，太愛一個不愛自己的人隻是另一個的負擔，太相信一個人的承諾隻會更加的失去自我！最後隻能托著疲憊不堪的身體躲在無人的角落一個人哭泣！
海誓山盟的感情，對於現在的現實生活也許隻是一種妄想，太多的感情都存在於金錢與理性之間，而往往金錢卻更勝一籌，記得有人這樣的告訴我，現在的社會， 有錢就有感情，有時甚至感情在金錢麵前一文不值，雖然這句話太過於極端，但他也真正的體現了現在人對生活的一種渴望，對物質生活的渴望，並不是說這樣選擇 生活的人就是貪婪，因為每個人選擇生活的方式不同，一個問題站在不同角度，去想，去看，他體現出來的意義就不一樣，但也不要被現實沖昏了頭腦！
參照周圍的感情，曾經覺得自己是幸福的。隻是突然發現，自己的手心和手背都是冰涼的，竟然找不到 可以取暖的東西。那樣的我還是幸福的嗎？我是不是一直都在自欺欺人，也許這個世上本沒有誰是誰的誰，我隻能妥協，在愛情麵前，向寂寞低頭。原來，愛與不愛 都是寂寞的。愛比不愛更寂寞。
有時候覺得我安靜起來確實可怕，冷得讓人難以接近，甚至可以把人擊垮。其實這隻是一種自我保護，一種內心脆弱的真實寫照。心都冷了，還有什麼會是溫暖的呢？腦子裏一下子閃過好多人，隻是都如煙花般一瞬隨即消逝。試著用左手握住了右手，給了自己最簡單的溫暖。不再奢求別人的給予，開始學著自己給自己。
朋友請好好的珍惜你身邊的你愛的或者是愛你的人，佛說：十年修得同船渡，百年修得共枕眠
，那麼我們為什麼就不能好好的珍惜身邊已有的幸福呢！
=
讚好 3
戀愛談到什麼時候才合適結婚
她們總是說，我不結婚，我要等他什麼都有的時候再嫁給他。可是傻丫頭，等他有房有車有銀子什麼都有的時候，新娘可能就不是你了……
有一個朋友，已經和她男友跑了六年的馬拉鬆了，兩人青梅竹馬，朋友們隻等著
繼續閱讀
讚好 3
激情過後你愛我嗎
「愛」字好虛幻，上一刻，你我還擁抱接吻、牽手散步，下一刻，你卻連電話都不回、冷言冷語相待，倒底，你愛我嗎？戀愛中的人，總是玩著猜心的遊戲，若即若離的曖昧，是愛情的靈藥也是愛情的毒藥。
婉華跟小駿
繼續閱讀
讚好 9
跟著你、就是要你疼的
女孩喜歡上了男人，對他很好，是很好的那種。她給他洗衣服，收拾房間，早晨買早點給他，小鳥依人的靠在男人身邊。男人覺得有人這樣無微不至的照顧是件很愜意的事情，於是他們順理成章地在一起。男人習慣有女孩在身邊
繼續閱讀
讚好 26
別怪婆婆
老人家常常不講道理的
畢竟年代久遠 三從四德的觀念揮之不去
但是如果你真愛你的老公 就能愛屋及烏
Thursday, September 29, 2011
Love is the greatest feeling in the world
Love is the greatest feeling in the whole world. When you are in love, you see mainly the positive sides of the character of the person, you are in love with. Everyone wonder sometimes what the reasons I love you are. However, each one of the persons has different reasons, but some of the most common among all of them are:
1. One of the reasons I love you is the way you make me feel alive, because that is the most important thing for one person.
2. Another one of the reasons I love you is that you have trust in me, because one couple can’t survive a long time without it.
3. I love you, because you are faithful.
4. I love the way you talk.
5. I love you, because you are one of the most intelligent people I know.
6. When you hug me, I feel safe.
7. I am in love with your green eyes, because when you look at me I feel loved.
8. Another one of the reasons I love you is the fact that you know how to be a real man.
9. I love you, because you are my best friend.
10. I am in love with you, because when I need you, you are by me and when I need help, you will help me immediately.
11. One of the reasons I love you is the way that you kiss and touch me.
12. I love you, because you can forgive.
13. Another one of the reasons I love you is your optimism.
14. I love you, because you can always make me laugh or smile even when I don’t want to.
15. I love your gentleness with me.
16. I am in love with you, because you are so nice.
17. One of the reasons I love you is the fact that you take care of me.
18. I love the way you smile.
19. I love you, because you are awesome to my mom and dad, and my brother and even my dog and how they all love you so much.
20. Another one of the reasons I love you is the fact that I learn new things about you every day.
21. I love you, because you let me in your life and your heart.
22. I am in love with you, because you give me a presents without a reason.
23. I love your honesty.
24. One of the reasons I love you is your perfect body.
25. I love you, because of your charm and charisma.
26. I love your strong hands.
27. Another one of the reasons I love you, because of your aspiration to achieve success in your life.
28. I love you, because I am in your plans for the feature.
29. I love you, because you always bring out the best in me.
30. I am in love with you, because you always look for and find the positive in everything.
31. One of the reasons I love you is the fact that you always tell and show me every day how much you love me.
32. Another one of the reasons I love you is that I can be myself when I am with you.
33. You are never boring.
34. We can talk about everything.
35. I love you, because you are the light of my life.
36. I am in love with you, because you are the most beautiful thing in my life.
37. One of the reasons I love you is that every time I look at you, my heart misses a beat.
38. I love to hear your voice.
39. I love your smell.
40. I love you, because when you are with me everything seems possible.
41. Another one of the reasons I love you is the fact that you help me with everything.
42. I am in love with you, because you make me feel like I have never felt before.
43. I love you, because you always respect my decisions and are always behind me.
44. I love that we can talk for hours about nothing.
45. I love the way your body moves when we kiss.
46. One of the reasons I love you is that I can feel your love in the warmth of your touch, because it touch my heart and my soul.
47. Another one of the reasons I love you is that every night, when we go to sleep, you hug me.
1. One of the reasons I love you is the way you make me feel alive, because that is the most important thing for one person.
2. Another one of the reasons I love you is that you have trust in me, because one couple can’t survive a long time without it.
3. I love you, because you are faithful.
4. I love the way you talk.
5. I love you, because you are one of the most intelligent people I know.
6. When you hug me, I feel safe.
7. I am in love with your green eyes, because when you look at me I feel loved.
8. Another one of the reasons I love you is the fact that you know how to be a real man.
9. I love you, because you are my best friend.
10. I am in love with you, because when I need you, you are by me and when I need help, you will help me immediately.
11. One of the reasons I love you is the way that you kiss and touch me.
12. I love you, because you can forgive.
13. Another one of the reasons I love you is your optimism.
14. I love you, because you can always make me laugh or smile even when I don’t want to.
15. I love your gentleness with me.
16. I am in love with you, because you are so nice.
17. One of the reasons I love you is the fact that you take care of me.
18. I love the way you smile.
19. I love you, because you are awesome to my mom and dad, and my brother and even my dog and how they all love you so much.
20. Another one of the reasons I love you is the fact that I learn new things about you every day.
21. I love you, because you let me in your life and your heart.
22. I am in love with you, because you give me a presents without a reason.
23. I love your honesty.
24. One of the reasons I love you is your perfect body.
25. I love you, because of your charm and charisma.
26. I love your strong hands.
27. Another one of the reasons I love you, because of your aspiration to achieve success in your life.
28. I love you, because I am in your plans for the feature.
29. I love you, because you always bring out the best in me.
30. I am in love with you, because you always look for and find the positive in everything.
31. One of the reasons I love you is the fact that you always tell and show me every day how much you love me.
32. Another one of the reasons I love you is that I can be myself when I am with you.
33. You are never boring.
34. We can talk about everything.
35. I love you, because you are the light of my life.
36. I am in love with you, because you are the most beautiful thing in my life.
37. One of the reasons I love you is that every time I look at you, my heart misses a beat.
38. I love to hear your voice.
39. I love your smell.
40. I love you, because when you are with me everything seems possible.
41. Another one of the reasons I love you is the fact that you help me with everything.
42. I am in love with you, because you make me feel like I have never felt before.
43. I love you, because you always respect my decisions and are always behind me.
44. I love that we can talk for hours about nothing.
45. I love the way your body moves when we kiss.
46. One of the reasons I love you is that I can feel your love in the warmth of your touch, because it touch my heart and my soul.
47. Another one of the reasons I love you is that every night, when we go to sleep, you hug me.
Sunday, September 18, 2011
男友該為女友做的45件事情
１.向新朋友介紹女友時，請摟著她的腰，而不是站在一旁用手指點
２.在街上遇見美女凝視時間不超過５秒，並迅速指出那位美女與她相比較的美 中不足。
３.如果她做錯了事，心裡已經很難過，請主動承擔起你應該甚至不應該承擔的責任吧 。
４.聽女友話的男人才會有出息，所以，你要乖乖聽她的話。
５.她可以欺負你，但你絕對不可以欺負她，因為她雖然欺負你,但是每次有什麼好東西,她第一個想到的就是你!
６.要是她朝你哭,你要不厭其煩地哄她,直到她破涕為笑！
７.把她的照片貼到錢包，手機...一切經常看到的地方。
８.離開她絕對不超過十天以上。
９.在她的朋友面前，希望你可以表現得比平時更疼愛她和緊張她的樣子。
１０.大男人不等於霸道。
１１.溫柔不等於………沒主見。
１２.瀟灑不等於沒交代。
１３.不要老是在我問她“去那比較好”，“吃什麼”等等的時候說"隨便"，這不等於是你在遷就她，只表示你沒有心思搭理她。
１４.要經常對她說"我愛你"，否則她會假設你不愛她。
１５.永遠不要在公眾場合對她呼呼吼吼又或是撇下她一人。
１６.她做錯事情的時候教訓她不要緊，最重要的是在那之後要哄她。
１７.發脾氣時不要不理她，不要給時間她讓她冷靜，其實她完全不需要時間冷靜
１８.可以陪自己的朋友，但一定要重色輕友。
１９.她看動畫片，你不但不准笑話她，還要跟她一起看。
２０.在她想你時，爭分奪秒地擠出時間與她約會。
２１.看她的眼神無比專注 。
２２.說話的語氣情深意長 。
２３.能做到客觀的得看到其他優秀的女孩，但主觀認為她才是最好的。
２４.有女孩和你說話，你要拉著她的手，如果她恰巧不在旁邊，那麼請你跟她們保持距離 。
２５.過馬路的時候牽著她的手。
２６.要懂得珍惜和她在一起的每分鐘 。
２７.就算再忙，每天都不忘打一個問候的電話 。
２８.要常常唱情歌給她聽。
２９.兩個人都有發火的權利，但不能同一天,如果那一天她發火了，那你就不可以發火了。
３０.女友生活中不順心，你要循循善誘、幫忙分析，提出建設性方案若干。
３１.要非常愛你的女友---她，堅決擁護女友的決定，服從女友的領導。
３２..留意其他女生不得超過５秒鐘，看同一女生累計不得超過５次
３３.即使全世界的人都不相信她，你也要無條件相信她。因為她也會同樣對你。
３４.她穿了好看的衣服，你要衷心讚美。
３５.嚴禁在女士（３歲-８０歲）面前耍貧，放電。若有違反，視情節嚴重程度，由女友從嚴、從快進行嚴厲打擊，任何人、任何形式的狡辯，抵賴都將按妨礙司法公正論處。
３６.不抽煙。一經發現立即開除。
３７.與女友吵架每次陳述不得超過３分鐘（含），音量不得超過２０分貝（含）。
３８.要加強鍛煉，強健身體,一口氣抱她上到五樓
３９. 在她心情遭透，蠻橫發脾氣的時候，抱抱她，而不是和她理論。
４０.希望不會出現手機沒電而她又沒有其他辦法聯繫到你的現象，如果能頻頻主動打電話告訴她“我想你了”並隨時彙報行蹤則更好。
４１.她身上有很多缺點，她已經夠苦惱了，請不必隨時向她提醒。
４２.女友不講理是撒嬌而不是撒野。
４３.她所有的事情都好想跟你分享、雖然你不一定會明白但是希望你會裝做你在聽。
４５.最重要的一點：要永遠認為女友是對的。因為，她是最愛你的。
===================================
１.向新朋友介紹女友時，請摟著她的腰，而不是站在一旁用手指點
２.在街上遇見美女凝視時間不超過５秒，並迅速指出那位美女與她相比較的美 中不足。
３.如果她做錯了事，心裡已經很難過，請主動承擔起你應該甚至不應該承擔的責任吧 。
４.聽女友話的男人才會有出息，所以，你要乖乖聽她的話。
５.她可以欺負你，但你絕對不可以欺負她，因為她雖然欺負你,但是每次有什麼好東西,她第一個想到的就是你!
６.要是她朝你哭,你要不厭其煩地哄她,直到她破涕為笑！
７.把她的照片貼到錢包，手機...一切經常看到的地方。
８.離開她絕對不超過十天以上。
９.在她的朋友面前，希望你可以表現得比平時更疼愛她和緊張她的樣子。
１０.大男人不等於霸道。
１１.溫柔不等於………沒主見。
１２.瀟灑不等於沒交代。
１３.不要老是在我問她“去那比較好”，“吃什麼”等等的時候說"隨便"，這不等於是你在遷就她，只表示你沒有心思搭理她。
１４.要經常對她說"我愛你"，否則她會假設你不愛她。
１５.永遠不要在公眾場合對她呼呼吼吼又或是撇下她一人。
１６.她做錯事情的時候教訓她不要緊，最重要的是在那之後要哄她。
１７.發脾氣時不要不理她，不要給時間她讓她冷靜，其實她完全不需要時間冷靜
１８.可以陪自己的朋友，但一定要重色輕友。
１９.她看動畫片，你不但不准笑話她，還要跟她一起看。
２０.在她想你時，爭分奪秒地擠出時間與她約會。
２１.看她的眼神無比專注 。
２２.說話的語氣情深意長 。
２３.能做到客觀的得看到其他優秀的女孩，但主觀認為她才是最好的。
２４.有女孩和你說話，你要拉著她的手，如果她恰巧不在旁邊，那麼請你跟她們保持距離 。
２５.過馬路的時候牽著她的手。
２６.要懂得珍惜和她在一起的每分鐘 。
２７.就算再忙，每天都不忘打一個問候的電話 。
２８.要常常唱情歌給她聽。
２９.兩個人都有發火的權利，但不能同一天,如果那一天她發火了，那你就不可以發火了。
３０.女友生活中不順心，你要循循善誘、幫忙分析，提出建設性方案若干。
３１.要非常愛你的女友---她，堅決擁護女友的決定，服從女友的領導。
３２..留意其他女生不得超過５秒鐘，看同一女生累計不得超過５次
３３.即使全世界的人都不相信她，你也要無條件相信她。因為她也會同樣對你。
３４.她穿了好看的衣服，你要衷心讚美。
３５.嚴禁在女士（３歲-８０歲）面前耍貧，放電。若有違反，視情節嚴重程度，由女友從嚴、從快進行嚴厲打擊，任何人、任何形式的狡辯，抵賴都將按妨礙司法公正論處。
３６.不抽煙。一經發現立即開除。
３７.與女友吵架每次陳述不得超過３分鐘（含），音量不得超過２０分貝（含）。
３８.要加強鍛煉，強健身體,一口氣抱她上到五樓
３９. 在她心情遭透，蠻橫發脾氣的時候，抱抱她，而不是和她理論。
４０.希望不會出現手機沒電而她又沒有其他辦法聯繫到你的現象，如果能頻頻主動打電話告訴她“我想你了”並隨時彙報行蹤則更好。
４１.她身上有很多缺點，她已經夠苦惱了，請不必隨時向她提醒。
４２.女友不講理是撒嬌而不是撒野。
４３.她所有的事情都好想跟你分享、雖然你不一定會明白但是希望你會裝做你在聽。
４５.最重要的一點：要永遠認為女友是對的。因為，她是最愛你的。
===================================
女人希望男人了解的事
50種女生希望男生了解的事情
1. 你耍自閉就是在打擊我
2. 不要在發動機車前有感而發：妳好像變重了！？
3. 不要常常天亮才睡，然後睡到傍晚再起來。
4. 我不吃冰的東西不全代表MC來了
5. 可以不要經常說：………
妳到底會什麼？
6. 吃東西太快的時候，不要一副被嚇到的樣子。
7. 吃東西太慢的時候，不要很不耐煩
8. 不要付錢很大方，回家只吃泡麵（現在男女平等，你不需要幫我出錢）。
9. 可以去參加聯誼，但是不要以為我什麼都不知道。
10. 能不能在夜歸時打電話跟我報個平安。
11. 下雨天騎車盡量穿雨衣，走路盡量撐傘。
12. 不要因為你的理想和目標而拋下我。
13. 煙酒可以盡量避免嗎？
14. 別把心事都悶在心裡不說出來讓我知道。
15. 問什麼都說：沒事啦，妳不要亂想。
16. 不一定什麼東西都要加辣吧。
17. 我會在意你的穿著，是因為關心，不是因為好面子。
18. 對兄弟哥倆拔刀相助時，能不能偶爾想到我。
19. 可以不要在加班或是熬夜時就六親不認嗎？
20. 生病看醫生不是丟臉的事情，病假不只是用來消曠課
21. 穿新衣服的時候不要說我怎麼又去逛街！
22. 常常穿同一件衣服請不要說：怎麼又穿這一件？
23. 看美女我可以理解，但是不要太熱切跟我討論。
24. 我會每秒鐘都想著你，你要接受這個事實。
25. 你不說話的話，我會直覺你是在生氣。
26. 不要太直言直語，縱然你的個性就是這樣。
27. 為什麼你會害怕讓你生活裡的人知道我是你女朋友？
28. 可以每天洗澡、換上乾淨的衣服嗎？
29. 不要總是一個人悶著頭去完成一件事情。
30. 我也會有男性朋友。
31. 別常常做出令人不安的事情。
32. 要適時的表達感覺，否則我會以為你不愛我了。
33. 運動完不要用袖口擦汗。
34. 不要覺得搭公車是很俗的行為。
35. 交通不是永遠那麼糟糕，下次遲到的話可以換個理由嗎？
36. 不要對我包包或手機上的掛飾感到幼稚。
37. 走路比你慢的時候，不要轉過頭來很煩躁的要我走快一點
38. 我說想減肥，不要直覺回答：那是不可能的。
39.點餐的時候沒意見，不是因為遷就你，而是我想再考慮一下。
40. 依賴是因為信任你，溫柔是只有對你。
41. 沒事卻打電話給你，是因為我在想你。
42.能跟你在一起就是我最大的幸福，我不是那麼在意你要飛黃騰達
43. 多用語言表達自己的想法和感受，我們會相處得更好。
44. 我不是愛聽花言巧語，但是你也不要太一針見血。
45. 不要嫌我矮。
46. 可以不要過度排斥認識我的朋友們嗎？
47. 想知道你前女友是怎樣的人，是因為我希望更了解你。
48. 我會想到未來的事情，不是因為我愛作夢。
49. 請你好好照顧自己的健康。
50. 我愛你。
===================================
1. 你耍自閉就是在打擊我
2. 不要在發動機車前有感而發：妳好像變重了！？
3. 不要常常天亮才睡，然後睡到傍晚再起來。
4. 我不吃冰的東西不全代表MC來了
5. 可以不要經常說：………
妳到底會什麼？
6. 吃東西太快的時候，不要一副被嚇到的樣子。
7. 吃東西太慢的時候，不要很不耐煩
8. 不要付錢很大方，回家只吃泡麵（現在男女平等，你不需要幫我出錢）。
9. 可以去參加聯誼，但是不要以為我什麼都不知道。
10. 能不能在夜歸時打電話跟我報個平安。
11. 下雨天騎車盡量穿雨衣，走路盡量撐傘。
12. 不要因為你的理想和目標而拋下我。
13. 煙酒可以盡量避免嗎？
14. 別把心事都悶在心裡不說出來讓我知道。
15. 問什麼都說：沒事啦，妳不要亂想。
16. 不一定什麼東西都要加辣吧。
17. 我會在意你的穿著，是因為關心，不是因為好面子。
18. 對兄弟哥倆拔刀相助時，能不能偶爾想到我。
19. 可以不要在加班或是熬夜時就六親不認嗎？
20. 生病看醫生不是丟臉的事情，病假不只是用來消曠課
21. 穿新衣服的時候不要說我怎麼又去逛街！
22. 常常穿同一件衣服請不要說：怎麼又穿這一件？
23. 看美女我可以理解，但是不要太熱切跟我討論。
24. 我會每秒鐘都想著你，你要接受這個事實。
25. 你不說話的話，我會直覺你是在生氣。
26. 不要太直言直語，縱然你的個性就是這樣。
27. 為什麼你會害怕讓你生活裡的人知道我是你女朋友？
28. 可以每天洗澡、換上乾淨的衣服嗎？
29. 不要總是一個人悶著頭去完成一件事情。
30. 我也會有男性朋友。
31. 別常常做出令人不安的事情。
32. 要適時的表達感覺，否則我會以為你不愛我了。
33. 運動完不要用袖口擦汗。
34. 不要覺得搭公車是很俗的行為。
35. 交通不是永遠那麼糟糕，下次遲到的話可以換個理由嗎？
36. 不要對我包包或手機上的掛飾感到幼稚。
37. 走路比你慢的時候，不要轉過頭來很煩躁的要我走快一點
38. 我說想減肥，不要直覺回答：那是不可能的。
39.點餐的時候沒意見，不是因為遷就你，而是我想再考慮一下。
40. 依賴是因為信任你，溫柔是只有對你。
41. 沒事卻打電話給你，是因為我在想你。
42.能跟你在一起就是我最大的幸福，我不是那麼在意你要飛黃騰達
43. 多用語言表達自己的想法和感受，我們會相處得更好。
44. 我不是愛聽花言巧語，但是你也不要太一針見血。
45. 不要嫌我矮。
46. 可以不要過度排斥認識我的朋友們嗎？
47. 想知道你前女友是怎樣的人，是因為我希望更了解你。
48. 我會想到未來的事情，不是因為我愛作夢。
49. 請你好好照顧自己的健康。
50. 我愛你。
===================================
Sunday, June 26, 2011
lesson #2 : cherish the people who are still in your life before its too late
lesson #1 : Love each other or perish. after so long, your smell still lingers.
u know how much I love e way you smell.
everywhere I go it reminds me of u.
I know I shld nt be thinking about u.
but suddenly, I realized how much I miss u.
if you can hear me, pls tell me if you are doing fine.
I know u won't be able to read this.
Tootpid(stupid) me :( sometimes I wander why you want me when u still throw temper to me? If u sincere wants to be with a girl, u will talk softly.... N take care of her... N not don't bothers...
lesson #1 : Love each other or perish. after so long, your smell still lingers.
u know how much I love e way you smell.
everywhere I go it reminds me of u.
I know I shld nt be thinking about u.
but suddenly, I realized how much I miss u.
if you can hear me, pls tell me if you are doing fine.
I know u won't be able to read this.
Tootpid(stupid) me :( sometimes I wander why you want me when u still throw temper to me? If u sincere wants to be with a girl, u will talk softly.... N take care of her... N not don't bothers...
Quotes From You:
"Real loss only occurs when you lose something that you love more than yourself"
"Memories are the best souvenirs"
"I should have been more careful. I was blinded by your halo, so I never noticed the horns"
"Breaking up is not a stupid thing; instead it makes you a better person and realize your mistakes"
"Letting go of someone dear to you is hard, but holding on to someone who doesn't even feel the same is much harder. Giving up doesn't mean you are weak! It only means that you are strong enough to let go!"
"Someday we'll know if love can move a mountain. Someday we'll know why the sky is blue. Someday we'll know why I wasn't meant for you."
"Deep down you know it's best for yourself, but you hate the thought of that someone being with someone else."
"I wish you could look at me and see the person you once loved instead of the person you have grown to hate."
"The saddest love is to love someone, to know that they still want you, but the circumstances don't let you have them."
"If you ever get lonely and you want to see my face, look at the sky, smell the air, close your eyes, and you'll find me."
Labels: :: Irene yong
"Real loss only occurs when you lose something that you love more than yourself"
"Memories are the best souvenirs"
"I should have been more careful. I was blinded by your halo, so I never noticed the horns"
"Breaking up is not a stupid thing; instead it makes you a better person and realize your mistakes"
"Letting go of someone dear to you is hard, but holding on to someone who doesn't even feel the same is much harder. Giving up doesn't mean you are weak! It only means that you are strong enough to let go!"
"Someday we'll know if love can move a mountain. Someday we'll know why the sky is blue. Someday we'll know why I wasn't meant for you."
"Deep down you know it's best for yourself, but you hate the thought of that someone being with someone else."
"I wish you could look at me and see the person you once loved instead of the person you have grown to hate."
"The saddest love is to love someone, to know that they still want you, but the circumstances don't let you have them."
"If you ever get lonely and you want to see my face, look at the sky, smell the air, close your eyes, and you'll find me."
Labels: :: Irene yong
♥♥ When the door of happiness closes, another opens, but often times we look so long at the closed door that we don't see the one which has been opened for us. ♥♥ Don't go for looks; they can deceive. Don't go for wealth; even that fades away. Go for someone who makes you smile because it takes only a smile to make a dark day seem bright. Find the one that makes your heart smile. ♥♥ May you have enough happiness to make you sweet, enough trials to make you strong, enough sorrow to keep you human, enough hope to make you happy. ♥♥ The happiest of people don't necessarily have the best of everything; they just make the most of everything that comes along their way.
♥♥ Love begins with a smile, grows with a kiss and ends with a tear.
♥♥ The brightest future will always be based on a forgotten past, you can't go on well in life until you let go of your past failures and heartaches.
♥♥ When you were born, you were crying and everyone around you was smiling. Live your life so that when you die, you're the one who is smiling and everyone around you is crying.
Labels: Irene yong
♥♥ Love begins with a smile, grows with a kiss and ends with a tear.
♥♥ The brightest future will always be based on a forgotten past, you can't go on well in life until you let go of your past failures and heartaches.
♥♥ When you were born, you were crying and everyone around you was smiling. Live your life so that when you die, you're the one who is smiling and everyone around you is crying.
Labels: Irene yong
* Everything came too late
** Theres nth we can do
*** This might be Fate
**** We are meant to be Friends but not Lovers
***** A lesson Ive learnt
****** Express ur love bravely
******* b4 its too late
Dying inside cause I can't stand it
Make or break up
Can't take this madness
If you dont' know me at this point
Then I highly doubt you ever will
And I know we said let go
But I kept on hanging on
It cuts so deep
It hurts down to my soul
We both know our heart is breaking
Can we learn from our mistakes
** Theres nth we can do
*** This might be Fate
**** We are meant to be Friends but not Lovers
***** A lesson Ive learnt
****** Express ur love bravely
******* b4 its too late
Dying inside cause I can't stand it
Make or break up
Can't take this madness
If you dont' know me at this point
Then I highly doubt you ever will
And I know we said let go
But I kept on hanging on
It cuts so deep
It hurts down to my soul
We both know our heart is breaking
Can we learn from our mistakes
人生就是為了找尋愛的過程
人生就是為了找尋愛的過程，
每個人的人生都要找到四個人
第一個是自己,
第二個是你最愛的人，
第三個是最愛你的人，
第四個是共度一生的人.
首先會遇到你最愛的人，然後體會到愛的感覺；
因為了解被愛的感覺，所以才能發現最愛你的人；
當你經歷過愛人與被愛，學會了愛，才會知道什麼是你需要的，
也才會找到最適合你，能夠相處一輩子的人。
但很悲哀的，在現實生活中，這三個人通常不是同一個人；
你最愛的，往往沒有選擇你；
最愛你的，往往不是你最愛的；
而最長久的，偏偏不是你最愛也不是最愛你的，
只是在最適合的時間出現的那個人。
你，會是別人生命中的第幾個人呢？
沒有人是故意要變心的，他愛你的時候是真的愛你，
可是他不愛你的時候也是真的不愛你了，
他愛你的時候沒有辦法假裝不愛你；
同樣的，他不愛你的時候也沒有辦法假裝愛你 。
當一個人不愛你要離開你，
你要問自己還愛不愛他，
如果你也不愛他了，千萬別為了可憐的自尊而不肯離開；
如果你還愛他，你應該會希望他過得幸福快樂，
希望他跟真正愛的人在一起，絕不會阻止，
你要是阻止他得到真正的幸福，就表示你已經不愛他了，
而如果你不愛他，你又有什麼資格指責他變心呢？
愛不是佔有，
你喜歡月亮，不可能把月亮拿下來放在臉盆裡，
但月亮的光芒仍可照進你的房間。
換句話說，你愛一個人，也可以用另一種方式擁有，
讓愛人成為生命裡的永恆回憶，
如果你真愛一個人，就要愛他原來的樣子─愛他的好，也愛他的壞：
愛他的優點，也愛他的缺點，
絕不能因為愛他，就希望他變成自己所希望的樣子，
萬一變不成就不愛他了。
真正愛一個人是無法說出原因的，
你只知道無論何時何地、心情好壞，你都希望這個人陪著你；
真正的感情是兩人能在最艱苦中相守，也就是沒有絲毫要求。
畢竟，感情必須付出，而不是只想獲得；
分開是一種必然的考驗，
如果你們感情不夠穩固，只好認輸，
真愛是不會變成怨恨的。
兩人在談情說愛的時候，
最喜歡叫對方發誓，許下承諾我們為什麼要對方發誓，
就是因為我們不相信對方，我們根本不相信情人，
而這些山盟海誓又很不切實際：
海枯石爛、地老天荒，都不能改變我對你的愛!
明知道海不會枯、石不會爛、地不會老、天不會荒；
就算會，也活不到那時候。
許下諾言的時候千萬注意，不要許下可以實現的諾言，
最好是承諾做不到的事，
反正做不到的，隨便說說也不要緊，
請記住：”不可能實現的諾言最動人”
在愛情裡，說的是一套，做的是另一套；
講的人不相信，聽的人也不相信。
你呢？找到了第幾個？
茫茫人海中，你遇見了誰？誰又遇見了你?
http://i387.photobucket.com/albums/oo320/myhideout_photos/tenki8.gif
每個人的人生都要找到四個人
第一個是自己,
第二個是你最愛的人，
第三個是最愛你的人，
第四個是共度一生的人.
首先會遇到你最愛的人，然後體會到愛的感覺；
因為了解被愛的感覺，所以才能發現最愛你的人；
當你經歷過愛人與被愛，學會了愛，才會知道什麼是你需要的，
也才會找到最適合你，能夠相處一輩子的人。
但很悲哀的，在現實生活中，這三個人通常不是同一個人；
你最愛的，往往沒有選擇你；
最愛你的，往往不是你最愛的；
而最長久的，偏偏不是你最愛也不是最愛你的，
只是在最適合的時間出現的那個人。
你，會是別人生命中的第幾個人呢？
沒有人是故意要變心的，他愛你的時候是真的愛你，
可是他不愛你的時候也是真的不愛你了，
他愛你的時候沒有辦法假裝不愛你；
同樣的，他不愛你的時候也沒有辦法假裝愛你 。
當一個人不愛你要離開你，
你要問自己還愛不愛他，
如果你也不愛他了，千萬別為了可憐的自尊而不肯離開；
如果你還愛他，你應該會希望他過得幸福快樂，
希望他跟真正愛的人在一起，絕不會阻止，
你要是阻止他得到真正的幸福，就表示你已經不愛他了，
而如果你不愛他，你又有什麼資格指責他變心呢？
愛不是佔有，
你喜歡月亮，不可能把月亮拿下來放在臉盆裡，
但月亮的光芒仍可照進你的房間。
換句話說，你愛一個人，也可以用另一種方式擁有，
讓愛人成為生命裡的永恆回憶，
如果你真愛一個人，就要愛他原來的樣子─愛他的好，也愛他的壞：
愛他的優點，也愛他的缺點，
絕不能因為愛他，就希望他變成自己所希望的樣子，
萬一變不成就不愛他了。
真正愛一個人是無法說出原因的，
你只知道無論何時何地、心情好壞，你都希望這個人陪著你；
真正的感情是兩人能在最艱苦中相守，也就是沒有絲毫要求。
畢竟，感情必須付出，而不是只想獲得；
分開是一種必然的考驗，
如果你們感情不夠穩固，只好認輸，
真愛是不會變成怨恨的。
兩人在談情說愛的時候，
最喜歡叫對方發誓，許下承諾我們為什麼要對方發誓，
就是因為我們不相信對方，我們根本不相信情人，
而這些山盟海誓又很不切實際：
海枯石爛、地老天荒，都不能改變我對你的愛!
明知道海不會枯、石不會爛、地不會老、天不會荒；
就算會，也活不到那時候。
許下諾言的時候千萬注意，不要許下可以實現的諾言，
最好是承諾做不到的事，
反正做不到的，隨便說說也不要緊，
請記住：”不可能實現的諾言最動人”
在愛情裡，說的是一套，做的是另一套；
講的人不相信，聽的人也不相信。
你呢？找到了第幾個？
茫茫人海中，你遇見了誰？誰又遇見了你?
http://i387.photobucket.com/albums/oo320/myhideout_photos/tenki8.gif
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