D & D Dinner @ Hilton Hotel on 09 Jan 2010(Sat)

D & D 2010 @ G & W Readymix cum Koh Bros

As Hilton Hotel is a five stars Hotel, Well, I can say is very grand ballroom. Not bad. Out of 10 I will give 8 for the environment but the food there, not nice! I eat very little that day , every dish i eat one bite each for every all the dishes!

The Emcee was quite funny, when he mentioned to ask every group(4 colors) each of girl in each group up stage to sing XIAO WEI. Than my table colleagues, pointing fingers at me, because they know that I always went to sing @ KBOX but frankly speaking, XIAO wei in KBOx I never sing before! So that day I don't know what happened to me! I just without any preparation, I just went up stage! But so surprise that i did not even afraid of it! I still got the feeling that Im going to be singer soon! Haha! But I got 满足感！At least from the very beginning I was very timid and shy, after my mum passed away. I started to be more daring , can say I really change alot, point 10, I give myself 7! Now i lack of confidence so the other 3 point I need to improve for that! Jia you lo : p

The photos I need to gather first than I will upload at my blog! Thanks!

CNY 2010 coming soon

After Christmas and Countdown for a New Year , Next will be Chinese New Year @ 14 Feb 2010(Happy Valentine's Day), I used to very fond of this day since when Im K1 or K2 coz of can buy new clothes, wear nice nice, listen to CNY songs., and mum help me to makeup. Also lest but not least go shopping with mum to buy CNY things like oranges, canned drink, packet drink, CNY cookies etc etc..... Is so meaningful. Than go to relative & friends house bai nian(拜年）can take hongbao... hehe! The CNY days with my family is very good, but now it turns to change everything! Mum not around le, everytime heard of CNY songs, think of mum badly lo! Feel like is so sudden as if just past few months ago but actualli mum passed away almost 2 years! Times flies but i can feel she is near us and everytime let us dream of her! But in real life had not see her for 2 years le.... I told myself She is Onli going for vacation, will be back soon! But sometimes tink of going vacation for 2 years is impossible..... but Im really need to see mum... ( I dont want to be too independent).... If a person too independent , she will realise that no love around her coz everything she will do her ownself ma! Im the type of girls that need lots lots of care and love, concern, patient. Thats Y previously Im so rely on my mum, everything i no need to worry. she will settle everything even after i eat le, the bowl also she wash! But now I regret for letting my mum so tire n stressful... If i know my mum secretely suffer because of my dad got other affairs at batam for so many years. I sure will help her to do most of the things. I will also share her burden de.... that time i will not just let my dad anyhow scold my mum le! sure will help my mum to voice out to dad le! MUM always very 伟大，SHE SUFFER SO MUCH AND yet can keep/hide it from us so long! If it was me, I really cant tolerate! Is true!

Got a song that describe about mum!

世上只有妈妈好， 有妈的孩子像个宝，投进妈妈的怀抱，幸福享不了
没有妈妈最苦恼，没妈的孩子像棵草，离开妈妈的怀抱，幸福哪里找

Ya, is true, Now i have that feeling le! : ( Miss you & Love you Lot's Mum )
Really hope mum will always by our side to blessed us! Let us feel mum always beside us
can ma? Very Missed Mum, Now I hope That me and my 2 brothers heart will be together, at least we 3 share our burden together! I hope my mum will be happy too, I hope mum will be be lonely at other world but most important must remember us! Others shall not bully my mum again! She should found a better guy that treat her good de! Wish mum happiness around her! And My grandmother also passed away le! My mum can find her own mother le! Hope they can find one another and take good care of each other!

While Im writing this blog, my tears dropped!

:'(

人生就是这样子，每个人都必须经过的过程。就是要面对父母的离异， 老婆老公的离异，兄弟姐妹的离异！所以要珍惜身边的人，要做到最好，不要到时候，后悔就来不及了。 因为人生短短几十年，所以做的东西要对自己觉得有意义的才去做！每个人都需要被爱或爱人，被关心的， 被尊敬的！面子虽然重要，但如果把想关心的话不说出来，那痛苦的是自己和爱你的人。
我觉得做错事就必须道歉，不管是父母，朋友，兄弟姐妹都好！如果道歉这么难的话，那当初为何要做错呢？ 如果一个人做错了，不道歉，那个人永远都享受不了天伦之乐！因为他觉得他永远是对的，不会得到别人的原谅！知错能改最重要！这样才是一个成功的人！

妈妈，你还在吗？

昨天，我梦到我妈妈了！感觉很靠近但却很遥远！梦到有人欺负我们，然后就自然就想起妈妈，在梦里哭， 真的也在哭。喊着叫妈妈。 突然想起妈妈以前对我们的体贴，为我们做很多事，她为我们付出很多，担心我们，每天煮饭给我们吃! 好怀念妈妈煮的饭，菜。 她在背后承受的一切， 都根本不让我们知道, Because she thinks that we are still young and don't want us so small dont have a father. So she bear the pain herself and hide the truth from us! But every night when every one is sleeping, she can't get to sleep as state of depression. I sleep same bed with mum, sometimes midnight i wake up a few times and saw mum at the toilets crying and talking to her friend over the phone! That time i was really small and don't know what happened. I think I have neglect mum feelings le... That time was never bother much at hm. Im very regret, mum should tell us.... So that we can stand on mum side, and not anyone else to bully my mum. especially father and father side relative! Until now mum passed away le, they always side father, they don't even know how we 3 feel. Without a mum , is equal to without mum love, as father never give us that kind of love that mum will give! Guy will always not that caring ! 我真的好想念我的母亲！ 怎么办！ Why god have to treat us that way? Not fair! Mum shoudnt leave so early. She is only 47 Years old when she passed away! My 2 brothers nowadays better le.. at least they before 12am come back home! Hope they don't turn bad as if anything happened to them, I'm the one have more responsibity n i really cant take the blow! Im going to 崩溃！Seriously.... I feel sad, hurt, mood down almost everyday..... Because we really can't believe that our mum had passed away like that and dad betray us, he treat us and my mum that way.... I really hate dad, hate him for not faithful to mum.... Actualli before my mum dead, I always respect dad... sometimes also side my dad than mum not happy. As my dad got diabetics, I always very worry him, and the foods he take in, I sugesst him to eat wholemeal bread, and don't allow him to drink gas water..... buy guava for him to eat..... ... Until after my mum passed away, we found out the wolf of my dad tail COME OUT ...... I am very disappointed.. Mum passed away within 7 days.... he still go to batam to find that side people.... Is he heartless or what! He shoudnt do that, he is so selfish...... His ownself problem become 2 families problem, my dad side n my mum side relative!
He don't need my mum, but we need a mum! No one else can replace mum ! I hope mum at other world will not suffer anymore..... but most important is she had to remember us and always beside us! I wan to live happy but the fact is how to be happy when there are so many unfinish things to solve..... Is dad that chase us out, so we move out to aunt house to stay. His own fault than he keep nagged, plus until now he still wan face...... he should apologise to us... If he apologise and stop nagging at us and blame my aunt for mum death, than maybe we will consider move back.

Ya, but what about my younger bro? He got mention he die also dont wan move back! How!

Nobody will know how close me & my mum, that time i don't know how to express my feelings to her, even when her birthday, mother's day, the present i bought i also ask my youngest bro passed the present to mum! Coz I dare not say MUM, Happy birthday to u! or Happy Mothers Day. Now I realise how Mum is so important! I wanted to say that 妈妈，谢谢你无微不至的照顾我们，关心我们，爱我们，给我们的温暖！新年要到了，我又会开始想妈妈了！因为我最爱过新年， 可以买新衣，新鞋，很多新的，好多好吃的cookies ! Because whenever near chinese new year corner, I will go to shopping with mum to 买年货！I help her to carry! Ya, That feeling, that kind of feeling, IS it forever I would not have that kind of feeling? Sob?

I wanted to be strong but everytime I think of mum, my tears dropped automatically, tell me what to do , god.. I don't wan to forget mum, im afraid too long never see her, I will forget her, forget the moments we had together! I wanted to always put mum in my heart!