Monday, June 28, 2010
Fed Up of my life!
My friend dun understand me at all. My father had already bring over the eldest kids to stay at my house. Stay for few days liao and going back to batam soon. My friend say is my fault not moving back that’s y he lonely than he bring over his kids. You dun wan to move back your fault u make ur father lonely so he bring back the kid, he wan somebody to look after him, what wrong he do. You have fault too, u move out so long did u pay him a visit ma, yes he did wrong in the past but he still ur father. You think he not lonely ma. You think he dun wan u all move back ma? He say dun complain much, he have the rights to give his kid a good life, since u dun wan him, he bring other side kid to live with him. He say my mum never say anything... y we kids make so much noise. I say please, we kids are the most suffer, if dad do wrong never apologies and never amend his way. I say can u guarantee that my mum never say anything ma, can u guarantee that if we move back home, he never bring over his batam kids and family ma. u dun understand how I feel. You stand at my father position to see things, did u stand at my side/brothers side to see things. Yes although things had pass. Can u guarantee he will not bring over the batam kid if we move back home? If u can guarantee than I move back today. My mum dun have sense of secure before, my mum suffer so much u know. You dun know. my dad only lonely for 2 years than he already cant take it.... my mum suffer for 20 to 30 years. How can u say. Are u going to think for my father than think for me? We children are the one tat is wu gu无辜, need to move to aunt house etc. Although aunt treat us good/well but afterall that is not our house. Bec of dad mistake he had done, just bec father temper. my dad never admit his fault/wrong, this is not a small problem. But if a person done wrong, he or she have to apologize and if he never amend his way than we kids suffer the most. Nobody know my worries I need a man that can truly understand me and need to know what am I worrying about. Get things right, is not we dun wan him. is he dun wan us. If he wan us, he will apologies for what he had done and will not chase us out of the house and dun give my 2 brothers expenses for 6 months that we need to go to family court to seek for the expenses for my 2 brothers and he will not change the lock at home. Can u guarantee we are safe staying at home? He do things never spare a thought for us, wan to bring them back than bring. Now we had no mother, also like no father even father still alive, my family become so complicated – Thanks to dad! You know what, u know nothing, u just know that what past is past but u got think same things will happen ma? Haiz.... Why am i so unlucky for everything I had ...
Tuesday, June 22, 2010
My Worries.......My Stress...
Few days ago, my youngest brother told me he wanted to move back own house to stay.... Me and my other brother was not shocked at all, bec on and off he mentioned that.
He told me he tell my aunt straight away that he wanted to move back home this few days, I ask him not to tell aunt first. As me and brother-JH was still discussing about moving back home too. My youngest brother told me, he want to move back own house because he dun wan people to say him, he just want the freedom even right or wrong, he dont wan to care.... same character as father... This brother really hard to teach, as we 3 stay at aunt house already 2 years liao.
He already make US worry alot...... he did not obidient, sometimes when holiday period he use computer till morning 5am, 6am, the worst is he off computer at morning 6.30am, he go lay on bed, he told me he cant get to sleep, than after i go to work at 7.30am, he wake up again to on his laptop again... continue play until 8.30am he went to see a doctor as he injured himself at the work place(2nd day of work）， but the clicnic beside my aunt blk are closed. So he went back home to play, he play until 10 plus to 11 than go fajar shopping center to see doctor..... I pay for the medical expenses. After back from seeing a doctor, he continue to play games till midnight 2 or 3am, scary, overbroad, as my uncle n aunt set home rule, before 12am must off computer liao. My brother dont wan to care, than my uncle go and complain to my aunt, my aunt come and tell me, i also stress. I tell my brother sleep early, he say shut up and ask me go sleep. Hard to teach, rebellent child. dont know when than he grown up and maybe when i passed away than he will grown up ba... sometimes my heartbeat fast and sometimes i realise hard to breathe.... dont know what happen to me! Too much stress... I need to take up responsibilities.... Every friday, saturday and sunday my aunt working, my uncle go bet horse, so i had to look after their 3 kids, the eldest already sec 1, 2nd one is primary 6 and the youngest primary 2. Sometimes is hard for them to listen to me, I got to ask them bathe, after i buy back lunch for them to eat, i ask them to eat, they told me not hungry, they say later, so i let them eat later, than my uncle called and ask them eat already or not, i told him that they say not hungry, so he sounds angry, ask me to give them eat. Haiz.... Like i never ask them eat like that....and i had to make sure they bathe, than i can wash the clothes, i need to hang the clothes and fold the clothes.... sometimes need to sweep and mop the floor, sometimes is really stress. Everything happens after my mum passed away... haiz... Im tired too, what i trying to say is I need to work from Mon to Saturday, weekdays and weekends sometimes need ot also.. very tiring le... just hope weekends can rest well or do own things... but i really dont have enough time to relax, to do the things that i wanted to do, or is it my life is like that. destiny ar?
Many people say that 相见容易，相处难！This words sounds true, as every people have different lifestyle.... habits also different.. My aunt and uncle treat us good.... i know that we 3 stay at aunt house for 2 years, my uncle and aunt burden increase... So now i feel bad, sometimes they because of us quarrel... actualli i dun mind my brother use computer after 12am, is their home rule... and i know that my brother sure will not obey long de... so he move back home might not be a bad things, i n my other brother intend to move back home too..... Because we 3 麻烦阿姨和姨丈了！Is time to grown up and find own things to do! Afterall they can be one happy family again! I dun wish or dont hope because of us, affect aunt n uncle relationships, not good wor! Just hope that if me n my brother-JH intend to move back, nothing happen to us, and my 2 aunts and uncle will not blame us and still in good terms! Bec afterall stay at own hse is better.... not mean comfortable, is just that no need stress to how and what to say to uncle or aunt..... as im not good in talking, sometimes will lead misunderstanding. I dun wan that to happened.. I know even we moved back, i also can't control JK muCH.. But that's the only choice!
I need advise from you guys, Thanks! What I should do?
He told me he tell my aunt straight away that he wanted to move back home this few days, I ask him not to tell aunt first. As me and brother-JH was still discussing about moving back home too. My youngest brother told me, he want to move back own house because he dun wan people to say him, he just want the freedom even right or wrong, he dont wan to care.... same character as father... This brother really hard to teach, as we 3 stay at aunt house already 2 years liao.
He already make US worry alot...... he did not obidient, sometimes when holiday period he use computer till morning 5am, 6am, the worst is he off computer at morning 6.30am, he go lay on bed, he told me he cant get to sleep, than after i go to work at 7.30am, he wake up again to on his laptop again... continue play until 8.30am he went to see a doctor as he injured himself at the work place(2nd day of work）， but the clicnic beside my aunt blk are closed. So he went back home to play, he play until 10 plus to 11 than go fajar shopping center to see doctor..... I pay for the medical expenses. After back from seeing a doctor, he continue to play games till midnight 2 or 3am, scary, overbroad, as my uncle n aunt set home rule, before 12am must off computer liao. My brother dont wan to care, than my uncle go and complain to my aunt, my aunt come and tell me, i also stress. I tell my brother sleep early, he say shut up and ask me go sleep. Hard to teach, rebellent child. dont know when than he grown up and maybe when i passed away than he will grown up ba... sometimes my heartbeat fast and sometimes i realise hard to breathe.... dont know what happen to me! Too much stress... I need to take up responsibilities.... Every friday, saturday and sunday my aunt working, my uncle go bet horse, so i had to look after their 3 kids, the eldest already sec 1, 2nd one is primary 6 and the youngest primary 2. Sometimes is hard for them to listen to me, I got to ask them bathe, after i buy back lunch for them to eat, i ask them to eat, they told me not hungry, they say later, so i let them eat later, than my uncle called and ask them eat already or not, i told him that they say not hungry, so he sounds angry, ask me to give them eat. Haiz.... Like i never ask them eat like that....and i had to make sure they bathe, than i can wash the clothes, i need to hang the clothes and fold the clothes.... sometimes need to sweep and mop the floor, sometimes is really stress. Everything happens after my mum passed away... haiz... Im tired too, what i trying to say is I need to work from Mon to Saturday, weekdays and weekends sometimes need ot also.. very tiring le... just hope weekends can rest well or do own things... but i really dont have enough time to relax, to do the things that i wanted to do, or is it my life is like that. destiny ar?
Many people say that 相见容易，相处难！This words sounds true, as every people have different lifestyle.... habits also different.. My aunt and uncle treat us good.... i know that we 3 stay at aunt house for 2 years, my uncle and aunt burden increase... So now i feel bad, sometimes they because of us quarrel... actualli i dun mind my brother use computer after 12am, is their home rule... and i know that my brother sure will not obey long de... so he move back home might not be a bad things, i n my other brother intend to move back home too..... Because we 3 麻烦阿姨和姨丈了！Is time to grown up and find own things to do! Afterall they can be one happy family again! I dun wish or dont hope because of us, affect aunt n uncle relationships, not good wor! Just hope that if me n my brother-JH intend to move back, nothing happen to us, and my 2 aunts and uncle will not blame us and still in good terms! Bec afterall stay at own hse is better.... not mean comfortable, is just that no need stress to how and what to say to uncle or aunt..... as im not good in talking, sometimes will lead misunderstanding. I dun wan that to happened.. I know even we moved back, i also can't control JK muCH.. But that's the only choice!
I need advise from you guys, Thanks! What I should do?
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